Thursday, March 31, 2011

"Natural" Birth?

Ah, the great home birth debate.  I have resisted writing much on the subject for awhile. I really try not to push my beliefs onto other people. If asked, I talk.  I realized my family is not the norm. I don't get asked about it a ton, but as I get farther and farther along, it creeps up.  Those super close to me, that really matter, either had a home birth themselves, believe in them or no enough not to "convince" me otherwise.  I have perfected the art of smiling and nodding.  I resist the urge to educate people on perhaps the greatest life event they will ever go through. It is not my place.  It is sad to me, but I let it go.  I celebrate each mama's choices and trust that it is a maternal urge to do what is best for her family.  And while I make different choices, I don't think they are better, necessarily, they are just mine.  I don't think there is truly one answer or absolute truth besides doing what is in your heart, gathering all the information you can, and taking control over your own body.

People laugh at me or do the "shocked" look when I say I believe in natural child birth.  I practically have to pick them up off the floor when I say that I have my babies at home. The gasps and the looks of shock and awe are awesome.  My personal favorite things that people say are, "I just don't see any reason for that, what with modern medicine and all " or " there isn't any medal or award for that" or " I could NEVER".  My response..... then don't.

I'm not a total hippie, though I tend towards that side.  My group calls it "kinda crunchy".  I am not sure why we have to quantify it like that.  Hippies=home births, mainstream ppl=drugged up hospital birth. Um, what?! That makes no sense and I hate categorizing people like that. But for the sake of argument, I will.  I am college educated (not that that matters), my husband has a masters and is an Engineer (not that that matters either).  My point being, contrary to the home birth stigma, I am not a flowy skirt wearing, tambourine playing, patchouli soaked, "granola head".  I kind of aspire to be but I am too uptight. I know people like that, they rock.  What I am really trying to say is, there are all walks. It is possible to drink Starbucks and believe in home births.  True story.  Most (again with the categorizing, see how I am?) of us home birth-y know a lot more about how our reproductive systems work and words like breast, nipple and vagina don't make us turn away or blush. Eh, whatev's.  We all have the same parts, lets be real.

To be honest with you, there is a part of me that envy's the women that have an epidural at the first sign of a contraction and get to play cards and nap during their labor.  Part of me would LOVE to do that.  But, that is the only the part of my that hates pain and likes to be in control.  Childbirth, to me is intense and can be painful. If it were for something lesser than bringing a child into the world, hook me up.  All the way.  No shame there.  I think that is natural though.  People, by nature, don't like to be out of their comfort zone and being in labor is an experience like no other.  If it were a lesser occasion, I would choose different.  But it isn't.  To me, those feelings are important.  Intense as it may be. To me, it is important that I not be messed with. Don't strap me to a machine that they have proved has zero medical necessity, don't put me on unnecessary IV's that pump me full of liquid that leaves you puffy and swollen.  I want to move.  I want to be in water, I want to push how my body feels comfortable doing it.  In our last midwife appointment, Stephanie (our midwife) read us the notes from Porter's birth.  I tried four different birthing positions.  Four.  One didn't work at all. Completely was counter-productive.  I cannot imagine being allowed one position to birth, have not work and have to power through it.  No wonder women are scared.  That IS scary. 

I think education is power.  That is how my family made our choice.  We read a lot, watched a lot, discussed a lot.  We were not willing to blindly follow those that went before us.  We chose to question and a got all the proof and answers we needed. When I speak of my home birth, I get every horror story in the book.  Everyone knows someone who had something happen and therefore it must be true. Personally, I have heard some pretty horrific hospital stories, but I don't take them as gospel.  It is possible to have a good hospital birth, though I believe it to be the exception not the rule.

 Fact is tragedies do sometimes happen.  The other fact is that MORE MOSToften they don't.  Let's not forget, most often, in low risk women, perfectly healthy miracles are born, both in hospital and at home.  Most often, a new life begins, a family is made, a new chapter starts.  I say, we celebrate that.  I say, we be proud as women of what our bodies can do. I feel like my body is a luxury automobile and I have taken it out for a spin and really seen what she can do.  It's amazing.  The after natural birth high is better than any drug on the market. So, I say, lets not worry until we have to.  Let's be cautiously, but still 100% optimistic since we have every reason to be, and no reason not to be.  Worry about that then.  Until then, celebrate.  Babies are blessings, families are forever and you CAN do it, however it is that you want to.

"Change is good in a way that childbirth is good, it is a function of God's graciousness not life's cruelty".

Fact Time! 

Stats you won't get in What to Fear Expect When Your Expecting:

There are many misconceptions about home birth and safety.  Also about our medical system and it's safety.  the US has a disgustingly high infant mortality rate.

1. In studies comparing home vs. hospital births, home births supervised by a “trained attendant” indicate fewer deaths, injuries and infections. Respiratory distress in newborns was 17 times higher in the hospital than at home. (1)


2. The US has the highest obstetrical intervention rates of any country. (1) The US is currently ranked 28th for infant mortality (that means 27 other countries have a better rate of infant survival than we do). (5, 33)

3. The superior outcomes seen in home births are not because the women are at lower risk or in any way special or different from women planning hospital births. (2)

4. You are very likely to have a c-section if you chose a hospital birth. The WHO concluded that there is no reason for any region of the world to have a cesarean rate of more than 10-15%. As of 2004, the US has a 29.1% c-section rate. This rate is up from 27.6% in 2003. (2, 20) (3) C-section infants also are four times more likely to die than those born vaginally. (5, 31)

5. The newest study, done in 2005 and published in the British Medical Journal showed home birth with a CPM (Certified Professional Midwife) to be as safe as hospital birth. The rates of medical intervention at home were lower, and the study showed a high satisfaction rate for mothers. (4)

6. The vast majority of woman are 2 to 6 more times likely to die if their babies are delivered in the hospital. (5, 25)

7. If your baby is born at home with a midwife, instead of in a hospital with an OB, he is six times more likely to survive his first year. (5, 29)

8. The longer your second stage of labor, the more likely you are in to receive a c-section when at the hospital. At home, there will likely be no time limit on your pushing stage unless there is a real problem. (5, 46)

9. When your birth is attended by a midwife, your chances of hemorrhaging and/or continuing to hemorrhage are significantly reduced. (5, 58)

10. A study published in the November 2003 of The Lancet found that c-sections double the rate of stillbirth before labor begins, in women who have had a previous c-section (and most likely a hospital birth). (5, 105)



Monday, March 28, 2011

New Baby News.....

We had our 12 week appointment this past Thursday for new baby Smith.  This one was kind of a big deal because it was the first time we heard the heartbeat.  I don't know why but I was really nervous about it.  With Porter, I was foot loose and fancy free.  I never worried about a thing.  With this baby, I what-if myself to d-e-a-t-h.  Exactly what I tell myself and other people not to do, but I cannot seem to help it.

No worries though, this baby appears to be just as healthy as my first one.  Heart beat is strong at 158-ish  and it took her about 3 seconds to find it.  The baby even gave he a big ol kick as she put the doppler on my tummy.  It was pretty amazing and very reassuring! Other than that, we are text book.  My labs looked great, my numbers are good, my blood pressure is slightly low.  The baby is about the size of a lime.  She gave us a 12 week replica baby to demonstrate the size and formation of the baby (all systems are formed, just not matured).  I took the plastic baby home and sat with Porter and said this is your new baby brother or sister in mommy's tummy right now.  He smiled.  And took it.  And chewed the head.  Sigh.  So he doesn't get it yet but I have no doubt he will be a great big brother!

FAQ's for the First 12 Weeks

1.  How are you feeling?

I feel like this question should have an * by the answer.  The answer is great, but the truth is, I don't have as many choices as when I was pregnant with P.  I have a 14 mo old to run after now, so even if I am tired, I am doing stuff.  By the end of the day, I am zonked.  I tend to fizzle by 10 PM at the latest.  It has been a fairly easy 12 weeks, with bouts of intense fatigue and wooziness.  Never got sick, but LOTS of foods frequently don't sound good and I often change my mind on what I want.  And shockingly, my appetite has decreased and stuff like toast becomes my whole meal.

2. Awww you are showing now!

Eeeyup.  12 weeks and I am in that awesome, "Is she pregnant or just putting on some LB's?" stage.  Of course those that know, see the bump, strangers I am sure, see a pot belly. 

3. So you are REALLY not going to find out what the baby is?

Nope.  Not as of now.  Neil really wants the surprise and I can't rightly know cause I will tell him or buy stuff that will make it obvious.  Plus, the more I think about it, the more I want to wait.  There are so few big surprises in your life.  It isn't like we are never finding out, in approx. 190 days everyone will know!

4.  Are you hoping for one or the other??

Yes and no.  I want a girl, cause then I will have one of each and I would consider being done having kids.  But, I don't think Neil is gonna let me get away with only 2!  I think we will have a third, but who knows.  I like the idea of close brothers and I love having a boy.  But all the girl stuff is fun too.  So, honestly, I don't really care.  It will be great either way!

5. Ugh, I feel for you being pregnant in the summer....

Sigh.  I feel for me too! But what are you gonna do??? Thankfully we have a pool and we are planning a couple small get-aways to escape the heat.  My office is kept super cold in the summer.  Other than that, I will just have to get through it!  I am hoping to go on maternity leave a couple weeks early so a little relaxation at the end won't hurt!

Sunday, March 27, 2011

Going GREEN!

Ok, I am impatient. I can't help it. Another backyard blog. Sigh.  To be fair, was looking through our pictures and we have over 75 and we aren't done, so best that I blog in parts I guess.  (how do you like that justification??!)  The most important part of our new backyard was clearly the pool fence.  But, lets be honest, those aren't fun (or pretty) even if they are a necessity when you have kiddos.  Second to the life saving pool fence, is.... drum roll please..... GREEN GRASS!  We have two rather spoiled pups and a budding outdoors man.  Grass is an essential component.

We lucked out that there was a kidney shaped curb already in place.  Weeds and crab grass replaced where the green stuff should have been.  The pups have been less than pleased with their dirt "bathroom" and there was no way the little guy could go play.


BEFORE.  Yuck.  You can say it.

But, grass in AZ isn't always easy.  The dirt had to be taken down one inch beneath the curbing to prevent the grass from growing up over the curb. Well, for those of you that don't hail from this desert state, lemme tell ya, our dirt is like cement.  Rock hard.  So, my step dad and hubby took shovels, picks and other boy tools I wasn't allowed to use and hacked away.  I felt bad.  I gingerly offered water and sunscreen as the boys plowed away.  Not a job for this preggo chick.  But, I am so thankful for their hard work and effort. (and I won't get into the aches and pains sustained by my hubby.  Lets just say there were Epsom baths taken and ibuprofen consumed!)

The result was spectacular! Our backyard got an instant face lift.  After only having it 24 hrs, I cannot imagine ever going back to dirt-ness. No thanks!


Diggin the dirt down

First row of sod going in

Close-up.  Can you tell I'll take a pic of anything?

Finnito!  Can you believe the difference??

Plants placed around.  Thy will be planted this week and the rock raked out even.

I think Bailey is happy.

Correction:  I think EVERYONE is happy.

Ahhh Guinness.  Gotta break it in sometime I suppose!

Saturday, March 26, 2011

Plant Sneak Peak

My favorite part about doing out backyard is the plants.  Plants, flowers, working in the dirt, making things look balanced and pretty, is my favorite part of our backyard re-do.  I love being around all the green and new life. I loved being in the nursery and could have spend a small fortune on plants and flowers!  I think they brings life and color to any space.  I was particularly excited about a couple of our plants and the new pots that I put together.  My plants are all reds, yellows and purples and we tried to keep the cohesive theme throughout our yard.  For the most part, we were frugal.  We did spurge on a gorgeous Valencia Orange tree. It smells magnificent and Neil has had a mild obsession with citrus trees since we started house hunting.  It was a good indulgence, so far we LOVE our space!

You will see in my before and after post what we started with.  We started with over grown, unkempt, frostbitten, gross plants.  The had been neglected and ill placed.  Most of these got ripped out and the couple we kept got cut back to the stumps.  Here is a sneak peak at some of my favorite new additions, there are many many more !

This is my favorite pot. The long flowers will bloom yellow flowers at the tips.

This pot will be red and yellow.  The small plants will bloom yellow.

These are my favorite.  Called Yellow Bells.  They get 4-5 ft and have the coolest flowers.

GARDENIA! The smell is divine!

Neil's new baby.  Valencia orange tree.  The smell is magnificent.  Pretty guy too!
























My $8 Patio Table Makeover

Well, it has been makeover/rennovation central in the Smith household these days.  We are taking on our backyard.  Sigh.  What a project! Luckily, my step-father owns a contracting company and my mom used to own a landscaping company, so we have had LOTS of help and advice.  There will be a BIG 'ol blog to come on this project.  We are on week two of it and hoping to be done in the next week. Let's just say, it is fit for "Extreme Home Makeover".  Pretty major.

Anyway, I digress. In the midst of all this, I of course, want to accessorize and decorate.  Which is highly effective when hardscaping, pool fences and tons of plants are going in, lemme tell ya! Kidding.  But seriously, we inherited our patio table.  The table top surface if concrete, with a pretty design.  But in several moves, hot summers and use, it has seen better days.  The chairs are dark metal with bronz-y, gold-y swirls in it with the most hideous cushions that my small dog destroyed.  So, I had the idea to spray paint the table top to get rid of the dings and marks.  It was a free table, the risk didn't seem to great.  So, one trip to Home Depot and an $8.00 can of Rustoleum Outdoor Metallic spray paint in brushed copper, and it was a done deal. Silly me, I forgot to take a before picture.  But, it turned out great!  Paired with my new bright green cushions, and it is a whole new table!





Sunday, March 6, 2011

Summer Buzz and Sandals!

This weekend was a big weekend in the life of little P-man.  We had another gorgeous AZ weekend, sunny, 70-78 degrees, slightly windy. Amazing.  So, I busted out some of Porter's new spring outfits (courtesy of Grandma Helen) and we spent most of the weekend outside.  Lemme just say, our boy is obsessed with being outside.  Seriously, it is bad (but good).  He cries SO hard when we bring him in, he would live out there if we let him.  This weekend included a long walk, several wagon rides, several trips to the park, and pretty much all day running back and forth across our driveway, moving rocks and exploring.  I don't think he picked up a toy once this weekend.  Rocks, leaves, sticks and the wagon were his best buds.

Along with the warmer weather, my budding outdoors man and a 20% coupon that was going to expire, I decided to get him some new summer sandals from our go to shoe stop, Stride Rite.  Other people may disagree on spending that much money on children's shoes, but I believe a forming foot should be in a good, supportive, well built shoe.  Plus, they have an awesome return policy and 20% off my purchase helped!.  So, while we can, we opt to purchase one or two good pairs of shoes instead of lots of less expensive ones.  Anyway, they are too dang cute for words.  Seriously, they are big boy sandals...... he looked like a toddler in them I couldn't believe it!  He has big feet (size 6 already!) and  of course, wide, just like me (poor child!). We chose one blue pair and one brown.  Both with toe coverage.  P-man takes a fair amount of spills so I wanted his toes protected.

These are my favorite!
We didn't stop there though!  I have been contemplating buzzing Porter since his first haircut.  I think it is cooler, takes longer to grow back, and I have been told that buzzing them at this age can make the new hair that grows back thicker.  Also, it just looks cute.  But I was not prepared for my baby to age 2 years!  Poor P-man though he was gonna have peaceful snack time with his Cheerio's and got ambushed! Daddy took over (after realizing mama does not know how to work the clippers very well) and the rest is history.  Gotta clean up some spots after bath time but for the most part it was great! 

With his big boy sandals and new buzz cut, Porter is spring/summer ready! He really is turning into such a big, jovial little man.  Getting bigger and learning more every day.  It is so fun to get a front row seat to watch him grow.




Busy bee outside


Before the big cut... wild man hair!

Makeshift cover up

Not thrilled

He survived!!


Good lookin little man.

P-Man's Dresser Makeover

I have wanted to re-do Porter's dresser for as long as I can remember..... it is actually my baby dresser. It has followed me from house to house, but desperate need of a re-do.  Lots 'o dings and scratches but still good bones. When I started reading obsessing over DIY blogs, I decided to take to plunge and try it out.

I scoured my favorite blogs and after reading Centsational Girl's post on a dresser she did for her nephew's I was sold.  She used a colored stain (something I didn't even know existed), and re did the hardware and it was a whole new piece.  Stain doesn't provide the color saturation of paint obviously, but we thought it would be a neat way to incorporate color into his room and it still blend with the existing furniture.  It honestly was a shot in the dark, I had zero clue what to expect, but I want to get better at refinishing and re-purposing stuff and figured this was a good place to start.

I went to Home Depot, got all the supplies, recruited my hubby and started it up. I have a really hard time with vision.  We already have a lot of colors going on in his room.  It is, of course, Pirate themed (I have been obsessed since I was pregnant with him) and his bedding had all different colors.  We added an Ikea piece that is white, bright blue and green, so I was hesitant to add another color.  So, after seeing a sample at Home Depot I decided on Minwax, Island Blue.  With it being not "paint" saturated with color, I thought it would be a nice, bright, all boy color that would go with what we already had. There was some nail biting through that decision process, not gonna lie. But in the end, I am hoping it comes together as a perfect, nautical, island-y, friendly Pirate place for my favorite lil Pirate Porter.

 This project was A LOT harder than I anticipated.  Not because it actually is hard, just lack of experience with such things. We had never really sanded anything and there was a lot of varnish and stain to get through.  The sanding alone probably took 6 hours over the course of the weekend. Neil did 90% of this.  I seriously couldn't have done it without his patience and help.   We learned a lot though and I don't anticipate the next project taking this amount of time.  We expected there to be a learning curve with this project.

Here it is Before:







 Here it is after sanding:
 In the middle of staining:
The Front After Staining:
 The Stain Up Close:



We still have to put a coat of polyurethane on it and get new hardware.  I think I want to try and find handles that look like ropes for a nautical feel to go along with the Pirate theme.  I think it is a good addition to P-man's room. Can't wait to post the final pictures!