I decided to start a new blog for a variety of reasons. I wanted to change some things up and document our new house going up. It is the first place that we will really settle into as a familyand have enough space to grow. It is the only place we have/will live in that we have the intention of staying in long term. I want to learn to blog better and write better. I wanted a new look and pat. I will still blog about our life as a family on it, I just wanted a fresh start! So please come follow me over at the new spot if you wanna keep up with us!
ourdesertcottage.com
Thanks!!
Thursday, July 19, 2012
Wednesday, February 29, 2012
House Goals
Now that I am home now, I wanna take a minute and set some house goals for myself. I know that if I write something down,I am about 10x more likely to achieve it. We bought a fixer-upper of sorts, though it doesn't need anything structural per se, there is lots of little lipstick makeovers that can be done so to make our house more cozy and polished.
I have thought about doing little weekly mini challenges and make over a small space or area on a teeny tiny budget (like $0-$50) and challenging myself to make over areas on a dime budget. Just something fun I have been thinking about. I am striving for a clutter and junk free house. Sometimes I feel like my house is clean until you open a drawer or a cupboard. I want to go through the house top to bottom and maximize our small space with what we need and use and get rid of what we don't.I seriously LOVE throwing/donating/purging stuff...... Neil doesn't. Therein lies the rub :)
My Linsay Do List:
1. Organize the laundry room and come up with a better "pantry" solution. Perhaps the biggest knock on this house is the lack of a pantry. We have been using a bookshelf in the laundry room but it gets too dusty and doesn't fit well in the room. I am thinking the Habitat for Humanity ReStore or something of the like for a solution. I need organization and clean out the "junk" that collects there.
2. Do something with our half bath. It is seriously small, just a little sink, toilet and mirror off our kitchen. I would LOVE to paint it a bold color, maybe get a cheapie new mirror and fun towel hanger.
3. Organize and clean every closet in this house. Less is more. I wanna get rid of the junk and little stuff. I want to donate a significant amount of our master closet that we don't use and get it off the floor. In our line closet, I wanna line the shelves and get some baskets for organization.
4. Go through every single cabinet and reorganize/clean out. We actually have enough cabinets for our food, kitchen items and dishes. But our cupboards are packed full of items we don't use very often and duplicate sets of dishes, glasses and kitchen utensils. While I don't wanna donate everything, I would like to make it more efficient and have space for what we do use and store what is only done every once and awhile.
5. Thrift and decorate the guest room aka Grandma Helen's room. I haven't done a thing with this room since we moved it. It has cheap furniture, no paint or decoration. I wanna do a fun color scheme and maybe utilize my favorite local blog store The Backyard Boutique to score some inexpensive and fun furniture or accent piece.
6. Spray paint outside metal benches and get backyard BBQ and swim ready. I am thinking about stringing these lights from World Market under our covered patio for a fun eclectic look as well as some torches, potted plants and replace our plants that have died. If I can find the funds, I would love new cushions, a potting bench and outdoor narrow sofa style table to put food and drinks on for our buffet style BBQ's. We spend a lot of time outside so a tip top outdoor space would be great.
7. This is the big one..... clean and uber organize the garage. I mean everything into tubs from boxes, shelving, tool hooks, sweep it out etc. It is a jungle in there. This may be my budget exception but I will stalk Craigslist and ReStores for things that would work. This will take a long time, probably require help from the hubs and a big St Vincent de Paul donation.
I am giving myself till May when we leave for South Carolina/Spain. I'll take pictures and update. If anyone has tips or tricks or suggestions I would love to hear them!
I have thought about doing little weekly mini challenges and make over a small space or area on a teeny tiny budget (like $0-$50) and challenging myself to make over areas on a dime budget. Just something fun I have been thinking about. I am striving for a clutter and junk free house. Sometimes I feel like my house is clean until you open a drawer or a cupboard. I want to go through the house top to bottom and maximize our small space with what we need and use and get rid of what we don't.I seriously LOVE throwing/donating/purging stuff...... Neil doesn't. Therein lies the rub :)
My Linsay Do List:
1. Organize the laundry room and come up with a better "pantry" solution. Perhaps the biggest knock on this house is the lack of a pantry. We have been using a bookshelf in the laundry room but it gets too dusty and doesn't fit well in the room. I am thinking the Habitat for Humanity ReStore or something of the like for a solution. I need organization and clean out the "junk" that collects there.
2. Do something with our half bath. It is seriously small, just a little sink, toilet and mirror off our kitchen. I would LOVE to paint it a bold color, maybe get a cheapie new mirror and fun towel hanger.
3. Organize and clean every closet in this house. Less is more. I wanna get rid of the junk and little stuff. I want to donate a significant amount of our master closet that we don't use and get it off the floor. In our line closet, I wanna line the shelves and get some baskets for organization.
4. Go through every single cabinet and reorganize/clean out. We actually have enough cabinets for our food, kitchen items and dishes. But our cupboards are packed full of items we don't use very often and duplicate sets of dishes, glasses and kitchen utensils. While I don't wanna donate everything, I would like to make it more efficient and have space for what we do use and store what is only done every once and awhile.
5. Thrift and decorate the guest room aka Grandma Helen's room. I haven't done a thing with this room since we moved it. It has cheap furniture, no paint or decoration. I wanna do a fun color scheme and maybe utilize my favorite local blog store The Backyard Boutique to score some inexpensive and fun furniture or accent piece.
6. Spray paint outside metal benches and get backyard BBQ and swim ready. I am thinking about stringing these lights from World Market under our covered patio for a fun eclectic look as well as some torches, potted plants and replace our plants that have died. If I can find the funds, I would love new cushions, a potting bench and outdoor narrow sofa style table to put food and drinks on for our buffet style BBQ's. We spend a lot of time outside so a tip top outdoor space would be great.
7. This is the big one..... clean and uber organize the garage. I mean everything into tubs from boxes, shelving, tool hooks, sweep it out etc. It is a jungle in there. This may be my budget exception but I will stalk Craigslist and ReStores for things that would work. This will take a long time, probably require help from the hubs and a big St Vincent de Paul donation.
I am giving myself till May when we leave for South Carolina/Spain. I'll take pictures and update. If anyone has tips or tricks or suggestions I would love to hear them!
Wednesday, February 22, 2012
My Little Model
I am having a lot of fun with my new DSLR camera. I desperately need some lessons, I am by no means even a decent photgrapher. But I am trying nonetheless. Scarlett was wearing a white onesie the other night and I think white onesies on babies are just the cutest. So, I got a couple shots. Such a cutie baby girl.
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| Scarlett Sinclaire. Just over 4 months. My lil Buggy Lou. |
What a difference a year (ish) can make!
Today was our first day off as a family in South Carolina and the weather was perfect for the zoo. So we loaded up the kids and away we went. The Riverbanks Zoo is one of my most favorite places in Columbia. There is an incredible Botanical Garden attached to it and everything is so organic and natural looking. Today was a hit and both kids were amazing (and by amazing I mean less than 10 Porter I'm-two-years-old-meltdowns). I got home to upload the pictures onto my mother in laws computer and remembered I did the same upload the first time I visited the zoo! So I made a quick collage in Picasa of some shots of Porter then and now next to the same bronze orangutan. Sniff..... my baby certainly has grown up.
some other zoo faves........
some other zoo faves........
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| Gorgeous Botanical Gardens |
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| Holding Daddy's hand tight on the tram. So sweet. |
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| One of a couple two year old freakouts |
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| Buggy Lou sleeping on my back in her Mei Tai |
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| Feeding Giraffes |
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| Hippe Playhouse. Love it. |
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| Zoo wins. |
Tuesday, February 21, 2012
Much Ado About Lent??
It is almost time for lent. I am not really interested in lent from a religious perspective, though I am a fallen away Catholic. I am interested in the sacrificial challenges that it inspires. I think it is good to give up something for a set period of time. A vice, a challenge, a habit. I like the introspection and inward thought it requires. It is a small amount of time but large enough to change a habit. It is kinda fun to challenge yourself to grow in an area.
Last year, Neil and I tried to give up eating out when we were just starting out on our super budgeting journey. That lasted about 3 weeks. I think that would be an AWESOME one to try this year. I am home now so it may be easier. This year, I am wanting to up the anty, but I am kinda scared to! I don't wanna set myself up for failure but I know I can do anything I set my mind to.
I would really like to step my primal game up to run with the Paleo folks. Uggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. It was hard just typing that. After kinda sorta falling off the Primal wagon on vacation, I see the difference in my skin, my energy and my waistline. I KNOW that going Paleo will probably feel amazing. I know after starting Primal that the first 10 days or so will be h-a-r-d. THe biggest difference between Primal and Paleo.... NO dairy. Dun dun dun. That is my fear. I love cheese. A lot. Love it. And I love cream in my morning coffee. These things I treasured when I went Primal. Basically, Paleo people eat lean, organic meats, veggies, very limited fruits (mostly berries, if any), nuts and healthy fats. No dairy, no grain, no carbs. I have read a great many recipes and actually, there are a lot of options. I think it is just a matter of being planned and prepared. But cheese...... how I love you so....... but I know going without it will help accelerate my weight loss and kick start my body into good feeling shape. It is the day before and I am still not sure I can do it. Neil mentioned that he though traditionally you could have what you give up on Sundays and that is why lent is 46 days. Maybe I could do it that way. I dunno. Gotta talk to the big guy I suppose.
Some of our other ideas were no TV/cable (except for Porter's Elmo), no Facebook (Neil's idea, I would never suggest that :), no eating out, a certain running schedule, Neil may try to stop biting his nails, no drinking, no soda and we have tossed around some other things. Maybe we will have some personal goals and some we do as a family.
What is everyone else thinking of giving up?? Any Paleo people wanna inspire this cheese loving mama??
Last year, Neil and I tried to give up eating out when we were just starting out on our super budgeting journey. That lasted about 3 weeks. I think that would be an AWESOME one to try this year. I am home now so it may be easier. This year, I am wanting to up the anty, but I am kinda scared to! I don't wanna set myself up for failure but I know I can do anything I set my mind to.
I would really like to step my primal game up to run with the Paleo folks. Uggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. It was hard just typing that. After kinda sorta falling off the Primal wagon on vacation, I see the difference in my skin, my energy and my waistline. I KNOW that going Paleo will probably feel amazing. I know after starting Primal that the first 10 days or so will be h-a-r-d. THe biggest difference between Primal and Paleo.... NO dairy. Dun dun dun. That is my fear. I love cheese. A lot. Love it. And I love cream in my morning coffee. These things I treasured when I went Primal. Basically, Paleo people eat lean, organic meats, veggies, very limited fruits (mostly berries, if any), nuts and healthy fats. No dairy, no grain, no carbs. I have read a great many recipes and actually, there are a lot of options. I think it is just a matter of being planned and prepared. But cheese...... how I love you so....... but I know going without it will help accelerate my weight loss and kick start my body into good feeling shape. It is the day before and I am still not sure I can do it. Neil mentioned that he though traditionally you could have what you give up on Sundays and that is why lent is 46 days. Maybe I could do it that way. I dunno. Gotta talk to the big guy I suppose.
Some of our other ideas were no TV/cable (except for Porter's Elmo), no Facebook (Neil's idea, I would never suggest that :), no eating out, a certain running schedule, Neil may try to stop biting his nails, no drinking, no soda and we have tossed around some other things. Maybe we will have some personal goals and some we do as a family.
What is everyone else thinking of giving up?? Any Paleo people wanna inspire this cheese loving mama??
Monday, February 20, 2012
Just a Mom
I have been so busy lately I haven't had a chance to post about our biggest change as of late...... I quit my job! My last day at work was Valentines Day. Originally I was going to work until later in the month, but this trip to South Carolina came up and we just decided it would be better to just go ahead and be done. Huzzah!!
I am SO excited and I feel very lucky to be able to stay home with my babies. I know it isn't an easy job. It is trying, exhausting and at times thankless. But, to me SO worth it. I get rewarded daily in getting to watch my babies grow and learn. 90% of the time, I LOVE it, which is more than I can say for the job I just left.
My mother was a single mother during my early years and I know how awful it is to get dropped off every morning and just wish that my mom was among those that got to pick them up from school or go on an impromptu zoo trip. That wasn't my reality. And while I may not be worse for the wear, I promised myself (and my unborn kids) growing up, that if I could, I would stay home with them. Period. I LOVE to be home more than anyplace (except for maybe Charleston) in the whole world.
After Porter was born, things were crazy. Financially, we needed my income to pay off debt and get where we needed to be. Fast forward 12 mo and I was once again pregnant. Now staying home wasn't just a desire, it made good financial sense and gave us a deadline. Two kids in daycare is VERY expensive and honestly, I didn't want someone else spending the bulk of the time with my kids. Life was just too stressfull with both of us working like crazy and trying to be the kind of parents/spouses we wanted. So we made a plan, stuck mostly to it, paid everything off, came out a little ahead and got a honeymoon out of it to boot. Great!
Truth time. I never really liked my job. I was grateful for it. I feel like I made pretty good money. I was, for all intents and purposes a "corporate accountant" but what does that really mean anyways? At the end of the day, I didn't build anything, make anything or really make an impact on the world and I wouldn't say I was especially good at it. Far less fullfilling than motherhood. But, I'm not going to lie...... I have an itch. As much as I want to stay home and that is and will remain my number one prioroty, I have an itch. A desire, a need, a want to find something that I am passionate about to do for work at some point.
I get inspired by the blogs that I read from other SAHM/WAHM that seem to have found a balance. They have blogs, crafts, websites and businesses that they not only love but make a few bucks too. All while being mom's first. I am obsessed, that is just the balance I crave. As soon as the kids go to bed, I pull up my iPad to read them. To me that is like having passion (motherhood) on top of passion. Sign me up please. I annoy the CRAP out of my husband with my pipe dreams and constant ideas. And yet, I wonder what my passion is.... what my talent is...... maybe I don't really have one. I dunno. Nothing has hit me yet and to be honest, part of me feels guilty. I mean, I get exactly what I want and now I want more?? The long and short...yup. Those are the ABC's of me. I may not know exactly where my niche is but I know that corporate accounting isn't the place for me, something I have to be away from my kids 45 hrs a week will not work no matter what the salary. But I read about people and know women that make hair bows, childrens clothes, write, blog, sew, freelance and design and I am in awe. Two words..... lucky ducks. I once read that you should pick something that you would do for free and develop that. Pick something that you love to do and you will never work another day..... mkay...... well how the hell do you do that?! Enlighten me, I beg you.
I am lucky because I am surrounded by people that have found a way to answer that question for themselves. That is the just of my birthing community. It is a group of women who are moms first but who are talented midwives, doulas, childbirth educators, herbaists, teachers, lactation consultants, artists etc. They sew, knit, garden, create, cook, inspire all while successfully rearing often many amazing children. While I admire them and get inspired by them, those are not my callings. But I love the energy and commrodery.
So that is my juxstapostion. I groomed my whole life for college and a career. There was a significant portion of my adult life I thought I would never have children. And here I am madly, crazily and willingly head over heels in love with these little beings that call me mama. It is the BEST job. I cannot imagine and I do not desire a different life. But I am still me, I thrive being busy, I have a constant desire to grow and learn new things, I love being surrounded by inspiring people. I still want something. I still want to find my passion so that my kids can see that anything is possible. I don't want to tell them how to live their lives, I want to live fully myself and let them watch me do it, knowing they were my number one priority. They can then cultivate their own passions. I only want for them to be happy and do their best. I want the same for me.
So for now, I am gonna try and get comfortable in this new skin. I will do my best to do well in my new job title. I know enough to know that I am right where I need to be and this is just the beginning. I will try and be open to any opportunity that may come my way. But I won't stop learning, growing or searching in the process. Who knows what can happen. For now, just a mom is all that I need to be. The rest will sort itself out.
I am SO excited and I feel very lucky to be able to stay home with my babies. I know it isn't an easy job. It is trying, exhausting and at times thankless. But, to me SO worth it. I get rewarded daily in getting to watch my babies grow and learn. 90% of the time, I LOVE it, which is more than I can say for the job I just left.
My mother was a single mother during my early years and I know how awful it is to get dropped off every morning and just wish that my mom was among those that got to pick them up from school or go on an impromptu zoo trip. That wasn't my reality. And while I may not be worse for the wear, I promised myself (and my unborn kids) growing up, that if I could, I would stay home with them. Period. I LOVE to be home more than anyplace (except for maybe Charleston) in the whole world.
After Porter was born, things were crazy. Financially, we needed my income to pay off debt and get where we needed to be. Fast forward 12 mo and I was once again pregnant. Now staying home wasn't just a desire, it made good financial sense and gave us a deadline. Two kids in daycare is VERY expensive and honestly, I didn't want someone else spending the bulk of the time with my kids. Life was just too stressfull with both of us working like crazy and trying to be the kind of parents/spouses we wanted. So we made a plan, stuck mostly to it, paid everything off, came out a little ahead and got a honeymoon out of it to boot. Great!
Truth time. I never really liked my job. I was grateful for it. I feel like I made pretty good money. I was, for all intents and purposes a "corporate accountant" but what does that really mean anyways? At the end of the day, I didn't build anything, make anything or really make an impact on the world and I wouldn't say I was especially good at it. Far less fullfilling than motherhood. But, I'm not going to lie...... I have an itch. As much as I want to stay home and that is and will remain my number one prioroty, I have an itch. A desire, a need, a want to find something that I am passionate about to do for work at some point.
I get inspired by the blogs that I read from other SAHM/WAHM that seem to have found a balance. They have blogs, crafts, websites and businesses that they not only love but make a few bucks too. All while being mom's first. I am obsessed, that is just the balance I crave. As soon as the kids go to bed, I pull up my iPad to read them. To me that is like having passion (motherhood) on top of passion. Sign me up please. I annoy the CRAP out of my husband with my pipe dreams and constant ideas. And yet, I wonder what my passion is.... what my talent is...... maybe I don't really have one. I dunno. Nothing has hit me yet and to be honest, part of me feels guilty. I mean, I get exactly what I want and now I want more?? The long and short...yup. Those are the ABC's of me. I may not know exactly where my niche is but I know that corporate accounting isn't the place for me, something I have to be away from my kids 45 hrs a week will not work no matter what the salary. But I read about people and know women that make hair bows, childrens clothes, write, blog, sew, freelance and design and I am in awe. Two words..... lucky ducks. I once read that you should pick something that you would do for free and develop that. Pick something that you love to do and you will never work another day..... mkay...... well how the hell do you do that?! Enlighten me, I beg you.
I am lucky because I am surrounded by people that have found a way to answer that question for themselves. That is the just of my birthing community. It is a group of women who are moms first but who are talented midwives, doulas, childbirth educators, herbaists, teachers, lactation consultants, artists etc. They sew, knit, garden, create, cook, inspire all while successfully rearing often many amazing children. While I admire them and get inspired by them, those are not my callings. But I love the energy and commrodery.
So that is my juxstapostion. I groomed my whole life for college and a career. There was a significant portion of my adult life I thought I would never have children. And here I am madly, crazily and willingly head over heels in love with these little beings that call me mama. It is the BEST job. I cannot imagine and I do not desire a different life. But I am still me, I thrive being busy, I have a constant desire to grow and learn new things, I love being surrounded by inspiring people. I still want something. I still want to find my passion so that my kids can see that anything is possible. I don't want to tell them how to live their lives, I want to live fully myself and let them watch me do it, knowing they were my number one priority. They can then cultivate their own passions. I only want for them to be happy and do their best. I want the same for me.
So for now, I am gonna try and get comfortable in this new skin. I will do my best to do well in my new job title. I know enough to know that I am right where I need to be and this is just the beginning. I will try and be open to any opportunity that may come my way. But I won't stop learning, growing or searching in the process. Who knows what can happen. For now, just a mom is all that I need to be. The rest will sort itself out.
Monday, February 13, 2012
It's a lifestyle change
Since Jan 2nd, Neil and I have committed to a new Primal Lifestyle. People ask me all the time just what exactly is that? Well, you can get a more detailed description here, but it is basically organic, low carb, high fat, no (or very low) sugar and NO grains. The premise is real food. We eat real butter. No soda (diet soda is NOT good for you ppl), no bread, no pasta, no rice.
I started reading Mark Sissons, Marks Daily Apple, website and blog like a crazy person. I really liked his ideas. I love the idea of whole food, real food and eating organic. I think if you are careful about what goes into your body, you are hedging your bets against costly medications, disease and overall health down the road. Both Neil and I have some LB’s to loose and this is a great fit for our family. While I made Neil give up his beloved sodas, he can eat 16oz rib eye all he wants. For me, it worked because it falls in line with my philosophy that our bodies operate better uninterrupted and back to basics (girl scout cookies and gummy bears notwithstanding). Also, I am not calorically restricted. I can’t be, as I am nursing Scarlett. I eat SO much food (in a good way). It is pretty awesome.
So far, we are feeling pretty great. We steadily lost 10-14 lb each since we started. We have had a couple cheat days and fell off the wagon a bit, but for the most part, not really. Our food is fresh, colorful and wonderful. It is mostly simple, organic and easy. But, it takes prep. Lots of prep, meal planning and grocery shopping. I have found myself not eating 100% primal if I am not properly planned. I am SO happy with the results though. I feel great, sleep better, my skin cleared up and I lost about 12 lb. My mood seems more steady and I no longer have sugar crashes in the afternoon. I am hoping, now that I am stopping working that we can be even more adherent, now that I have the time.
In the last few weeks we also incorporated running into our lives. We bought a double jogger that we LOVE and use almost daily. We want to run a few races for charity as well as have some motivation to get into shape. I am not a natural runner whatsoever. I am slow. I cannot go for long. I don’t especially like it, but love how I feel after. My bucket list goal is a half marathon. But, for now, I can run 5-6 min straight, which is great considering 3 weeks ago I could only do 90 seconds. I am excited (yet impatient) to see the long term changes in our lives. I have always struggled with my weight and this is my year. Got rid of the debt now time to get rid of the pounds. I want my outside to match my inside and to be the healthiest I can be for my family.
But man alive it is really hard. It is hard not to revert back to old, bad habits. I am frustrated now because I don’t feel like I am losing anymore and I *think* we are at least 85% adherent. Makes me want to give up. But then, that is how I got here in the first place. Sigh. So, slow and steady will win this race. I only can do it one day at a time. I am considering going Paleo for lent to speed up the weight loss and see how I feel. But I am SO scared to give up my beloved dairy. Like petrified. I love cheese in a major way. And coffee creamer. But, I also have about 8 pairs of pants I am *this close* to fitting into. My goal is to lose 35 more pounds before Spain. That is smaller than high school skinny. Lofty? Maybe. But I think I can do it. I would be happy with 25 lb, really happy with 30 and elated with 35.
Anyone else stuck to their Resolutions into February?? Any tips and tricks for this frustrated mama other than buck it up?!
I started reading Mark Sissons, Marks Daily Apple, website and blog like a crazy person. I really liked his ideas. I love the idea of whole food, real food and eating organic. I think if you are careful about what goes into your body, you are hedging your bets against costly medications, disease and overall health down the road. Both Neil and I have some LB’s to loose and this is a great fit for our family. While I made Neil give up his beloved sodas, he can eat 16oz rib eye all he wants. For me, it worked because it falls in line with my philosophy that our bodies operate better uninterrupted and back to basics (girl scout cookies and gummy bears notwithstanding). Also, I am not calorically restricted. I can’t be, as I am nursing Scarlett. I eat SO much food (in a good way). It is pretty awesome.
So far, we are feeling pretty great. We steadily lost 10-14 lb each since we started. We have had a couple cheat days and fell off the wagon a bit, but for the most part, not really. Our food is fresh, colorful and wonderful. It is mostly simple, organic and easy. But, it takes prep. Lots of prep, meal planning and grocery shopping. I have found myself not eating 100% primal if I am not properly planned. I am SO happy with the results though. I feel great, sleep better, my skin cleared up and I lost about 12 lb. My mood seems more steady and I no longer have sugar crashes in the afternoon. I am hoping, now that I am stopping working that we can be even more adherent, now that I have the time.
In the last few weeks we also incorporated running into our lives. We bought a double jogger that we LOVE and use almost daily. We want to run a few races for charity as well as have some motivation to get into shape. I am not a natural runner whatsoever. I am slow. I cannot go for long. I don’t especially like it, but love how I feel after. My bucket list goal is a half marathon. But, for now, I can run 5-6 min straight, which is great considering 3 weeks ago I could only do 90 seconds. I am excited (yet impatient) to see the long term changes in our lives. I have always struggled with my weight and this is my year. Got rid of the debt now time to get rid of the pounds. I want my outside to match my inside and to be the healthiest I can be for my family.
But man alive it is really hard. It is hard not to revert back to old, bad habits. I am frustrated now because I don’t feel like I am losing anymore and I *think* we are at least 85% adherent. Makes me want to give up. But then, that is how I got here in the first place. Sigh. So, slow and steady will win this race. I only can do it one day at a time. I am considering going Paleo for lent to speed up the weight loss and see how I feel. But I am SO scared to give up my beloved dairy. Like petrified. I love cheese in a major way. And coffee creamer. But, I also have about 8 pairs of pants I am *this close* to fitting into. My goal is to lose 35 more pounds before Spain. That is smaller than high school skinny. Lofty? Maybe. But I think I can do it. I would be happy with 25 lb, really happy with 30 and elated with 35.
Anyone else stuck to their Resolutions into February?? Any tips and tricks for this frustrated mama other than buck it up?!
Sunday, February 12, 2012
This week R-O-C-K-S!
This week is a big one in these parts. There are so many, it is easier to list them!
1. I have only TWO more days of work. TWO. One, two, as my son would say. I thought I would be more apprehensive or sad. But.....nope. Just excited. And inspired. Too many good things in our future. And no more hearing Porter say, "No, bye bye mama" every morning. Good times.
2. My brand spanking new DSLR camera comes tomorrow. Squeeeeeeeeee. I am getting a Nikon 3100. I researched for about a month, saved up and read tons and tons and tons of reviews. So many said that it is the best entry level DSLR to get great pics straight out of the camera. And the price was right. SOLD.
I have wanted an DSLR camera for a very long time. I want to take better picutres of the kids, have it for our travels and perhaps stumble onto a beloved hobby. Plus, it may help us out in one of our upcoming business endeavors. More on that to come. *wink* I plan on taking a class from my fab girlfriend Karie Denny, who is a phenomenal photographer and artist, so that I can learn the basics on how to take great picures and how my camera works.
3. My other recent obsession comes in the mail Monday too. My camera bag/purse! Holla! Can I just explain how much I LOVE purses, bags and anything that holds stuff. Seriously. BAD. Obsession. But alas, I have babies now. I have traded my expensive purse obsession in for Stride Rite shoes, baby carriers and cloth diapers. But such a beautiful new camera deserves a beautiful new home. And in May, we will be going to Spain and I wanted a travel bag that holds my camera that doesn't scream "come mug me, I have a very expensive camera inside". The mom in me wanted something black or brown. Practical, if you will. But, I talked myself into something fun. Something happy. Time to step back into my stylish zone. Soooo allow me to introduce to you this gorgeous, mustard yellow, little number.....
Ahhhh. Thanks Cheeky Lime. She is so pretty. Eventually, I will own a Kelly Moore 2 Sues. I will. Sigh. I love bags. Did I mention that?
3. Valentines Day. We usually don't do much for little holidays. Which is totally fine by me. But this year, I managed to come upwith some pretty cute and hilarious things for Neil that pack a high sentimental punch at a cheap (as in less that $15.00) budget. I am excited to do something thoughtful and cute for my hubby. Post on that to come.
4. We leave for our first South Carolina trip as a family of 4! We are going back for 10 days. It will be the first time Neil's family gets to meet Scarlett, my father is driving down from Michigan to meet her, we get to enjoy lots of SC activities and the babies get to be spoiled rotten by Grandma Helen. I'm a little scared of the flight. Mostly Porter. Confined spaces and Porter don't go well together.
5. I'm going to a gala Saturday. I feel fancy just saying that word. Gala. It is a fundraiser for a childrens charity that my mother in law is active in and was started by Neil's family best friends. It is Mardi Gras themed, will have a live band and silent auction. And I get to wear a cocktail dress! Yep, for the first time in many years, I am going to donn a sparkly black cocktail dress, nylons and high heels. My hubby will wear a full suit, that he looks smoking hot in. So, not only will it be a dressy, kid free fun adult event, it is for a great cause too.
So as far as weeks go, it's a big one for us. I am not used to spending money on myself and haven't been on a plane in 18 months. But, since we are debt free and all the saving we have done is finally paying off, a few lil splurges come and I feel like I won the lottery! No work also means more bloggy/writing tme, which is great too. I am so excited and grateful. My cup runneth over.
1. I have only TWO more days of work. TWO. One, two, as my son would say. I thought I would be more apprehensive or sad. But.....nope. Just excited. And inspired. Too many good things in our future. And no more hearing Porter say, "No, bye bye mama" every morning. Good times.
2. My brand spanking new DSLR camera comes tomorrow. Squeeeeeeeeee. I am getting a Nikon 3100. I researched for about a month, saved up and read tons and tons and tons of reviews. So many said that it is the best entry level DSLR to get great pics straight out of the camera. And the price was right. SOLD.
I have wanted an DSLR camera for a very long time. I want to take better picutres of the kids, have it for our travels and perhaps stumble onto a beloved hobby. Plus, it may help us out in one of our upcoming business endeavors. More on that to come. *wink* I plan on taking a class from my fab girlfriend Karie Denny, who is a phenomenal photographer and artist, so that I can learn the basics on how to take great picures and how my camera works.
3. My other recent obsession comes in the mail Monday too. My camera bag/purse! Holla! Can I just explain how much I LOVE purses, bags and anything that holds stuff. Seriously. BAD. Obsession. But alas, I have babies now. I have traded my expensive purse obsession in for Stride Rite shoes, baby carriers and cloth diapers. But such a beautiful new camera deserves a beautiful new home. And in May, we will be going to Spain and I wanted a travel bag that holds my camera that doesn't scream "come mug me, I have a very expensive camera inside". The mom in me wanted something black or brown. Practical, if you will. But, I talked myself into something fun. Something happy. Time to step back into my stylish zone. Soooo allow me to introduce to you this gorgeous, mustard yellow, little number.....
Ahhhh. Thanks Cheeky Lime. She is so pretty. Eventually, I will own a Kelly Moore 2 Sues. I will. Sigh. I love bags. Did I mention that?
3. Valentines Day. We usually don't do much for little holidays. Which is totally fine by me. But this year, I managed to come upwith some pretty cute and hilarious things for Neil that pack a high sentimental punch at a cheap (as in less that $15.00) budget. I am excited to do something thoughtful and cute for my hubby. Post on that to come.
4. We leave for our first South Carolina trip as a family of 4! We are going back for 10 days. It will be the first time Neil's family gets to meet Scarlett, my father is driving down from Michigan to meet her, we get to enjoy lots of SC activities and the babies get to be spoiled rotten by Grandma Helen. I'm a little scared of the flight. Mostly Porter. Confined spaces and Porter don't go well together.
5. I'm going to a gala Saturday. I feel fancy just saying that word. Gala. It is a fundraiser for a childrens charity that my mother in law is active in and was started by Neil's family best friends. It is Mardi Gras themed, will have a live band and silent auction. And I get to wear a cocktail dress! Yep, for the first time in many years, I am going to donn a sparkly black cocktail dress, nylons and high heels. My hubby will wear a full suit, that he looks smoking hot in. So, not only will it be a dressy, kid free fun adult event, it is for a great cause too.
So as far as weeks go, it's a big one for us. I am not used to spending money on myself and haven't been on a plane in 18 months. But, since we are debt free and all the saving we have done is finally paying off, a few lil splurges come and I feel like I won the lottery! No work also means more bloggy/writing tme, which is great too. I am so excited and grateful. My cup runneth over.
Friday, February 10, 2012
Free to be You and Me
I have had every intention to blog more. I really love it. But I can always find a reason not to, no time, no energy, I don’t think I have anything relevant to say. And something happened abt 2-3 weeks ago that made me want to stop completely. I thought about making my blog private or shutting it down all together. I felt violated by someone who doesn’t even know me or my family.
I wasn’t even sure I wanted to write about it. I didn’t want to give her the satisfaction. But it is kind of like a gnat that won’t go away and it came up again today. I want to be a grown up and say I don’t care and she isn’t worth the time to recognize. But, it keeps coming up in some way or another. And I get pissed every time it comes up so I am putting this out into the world. Then I am moving on.
You see, this person, (whom I am not friends with in real life or Facebook land) is part of a larger community that I am involved in. She is one of those people I know by name and who she is but not much more. She linked Scarlett’s birth story and posted it to her personal Facebook page and made a mockery of it. She twisted my words, my thoughts and my feelings regarding my birth to suit her own personal vendetta. She did so without my knowledge or my consent. It was horrible. I asked her to take it down, she refused. My story that I wrote for Scarlett, while she slept on my chest at 5 days old, she publically bashed. It bothered me that she linked my beautiful baby’s birth story, complete with pictures and personal sentiment and used it for anything negative. The thought of someone using my birth and daughter like a weapon sickened me as a mother.
I will be the bigger person and not go into details of what her vendetta is. I won’t give that any more fuel. The child in me wants to name her and publicly humiliate her. But I won’t. That makes me like her and that….I am not. I won’t even go into why I think she would do such a horribly cruel thing, for I have a few ideas on that too. I was very, very angry. My mama bear roared. Her thoughts….my blog is public. Up for public use however they see necessary. Which, sadly is true and I must accept that. I had a close friend equate it to saying it is ok to rob someone if they leave their doors unlocked. Which is more how I tend to think and certainly how I felt. This person sought me out, found what she wanted and twisted away. I have done nothing to her to deserve that, as I said before we don’t even know each other.
So I have thought several times about what I wanted to say and what to do. My conclusion….. I won’t make my blog private. I won’t live in fear of people, her or anyone else unless I feel myself or my children’s safety is at risk. That is not the case here. She now has my pity, for something must very wrong for someone to do such a thing. I hope she seeks help and I hope she finds peace. But she won’t win. She won’t change me or my little blog that barely anyone reads. I like being an open book so to speak. I like to share my amazing family with the world. And my little girl…. Well, she started changing the world on her way out of the womb. We call her the paparazzi baby since so many pictures were taken while I was pushing and in the minutes after. I wanted it that way. I asked for it. I had a friend come specifically for that reason. It was my one regret with Porter. Not having enough pictures.
But with Scarlett…..we stumbled into pictures you never, ever see or at least hardly ever. I willingly gave them to my midwife (in fact, her student is the one that took them) because they were so important. I asked to remain anonymous and agreed to let her write about them. She was giddy over it and wrote it hours after Scarlett was born. They were too good not to share. We got pictures of what happens to the cord when you practice delayed cord clamping (which I do) so that there is a real picture to put to all the information out there. I never thought anything of it, but the post that my midwife wrote about it, got rave reviews and tons of comments. People asked to use them for instructional purposes. To explain the benefits, to show something real. I had no idea, but I was honored and proud that my birth yielded such good things. That Scarlett may somehow inspire another family to make a different choice. It didn't stop there. We also got amazing pictures of her in the caul. I chose a birth position that enabled completely amazing pictures of her being born with my bag of waters still intact. Trust me, this was all by chance. I was in no way shape or form in that position for the pictures, it was for the back comfort. It was just how the chips fell and how lucky were we?!
My midwife kindly edited the pictures so you don’t really see anything but the baby, you can’t see my face, nobody would know who I am at all. And in the birth community…… it spread like wildfire, in a good way. To this day, I think her caul babies post is one of her most viewed posts ever and again, something that will go on to educate and inspire mama’s to trust their bodies. People didn't know it was me in the pictures but I read all the comments thanking "the mama" for allowing the pictures to be published. They called her inspiring. My lil girl did all that within her first 30 minutes on this Earth. Booya.(if you want the link, let me know)
P.S. my midwife is probably shocked I outed myself.... I swore I never would. Hiiiii Stephanie.... *waves* Love you!!! But, in the wake of all this, it is her that has taught me the benefits of being vulnerable and open. She is herself. It isn't always easy or fun. She said it better than I ever could here
So, what is my point? I guess it is that while I was upset that what I wrote got taken from me and twisted, it doesn’t encapsulate what actually happened the day Scarlett was born. The person who did this was not there and really doesn’t know anything but her opinion. She is right, I put it out there, I opened myself up and I intend to stay that way. She has no idea the awesomeness that was Scarlett’s birth, the educational tools that came out of it, the pride that I felt. I ROCKED the face off my birth and nobody, especially someone that wasn’t in the room is going to take that away. I know better and everyone around me knows better too. Someone I don’t know will not dictate what I share or don’t. That is up to me and my husband. We are so proud of both of our births and both our babies. We are so proud to be a part of our birth community. We are proud to have our midwife et. al in our lives as a friend and treasured care provider. So one person doesn’t agree. Big woop. So while I was deeply offended and saddened by what happened, it will not define my little blog or any of my posts. So keep stopping by here if you wanna see a glimpse into our life and our kids, cause we aren’t going anywhere.
Moving on now…………
I wasn’t even sure I wanted to write about it. I didn’t want to give her the satisfaction. But it is kind of like a gnat that won’t go away and it came up again today. I want to be a grown up and say I don’t care and she isn’t worth the time to recognize. But, it keeps coming up in some way or another. And I get pissed every time it comes up so I am putting this out into the world. Then I am moving on.
You see, this person, (whom I am not friends with in real life or Facebook land) is part of a larger community that I am involved in. She is one of those people I know by name and who she is but not much more. She linked Scarlett’s birth story and posted it to her personal Facebook page and made a mockery of it. She twisted my words, my thoughts and my feelings regarding my birth to suit her own personal vendetta. She did so without my knowledge or my consent. It was horrible. I asked her to take it down, she refused. My story that I wrote for Scarlett, while she slept on my chest at 5 days old, she publically bashed. It bothered me that she linked my beautiful baby’s birth story, complete with pictures and personal sentiment and used it for anything negative. The thought of someone using my birth and daughter like a weapon sickened me as a mother.
I will be the bigger person and not go into details of what her vendetta is. I won’t give that any more fuel. The child in me wants to name her and publicly humiliate her. But I won’t. That makes me like her and that….I am not. I won’t even go into why I think she would do such a horribly cruel thing, for I have a few ideas on that too. I was very, very angry. My mama bear roared. Her thoughts….my blog is public. Up for public use however they see necessary. Which, sadly is true and I must accept that. I had a close friend equate it to saying it is ok to rob someone if they leave their doors unlocked. Which is more how I tend to think and certainly how I felt. This person sought me out, found what she wanted and twisted away. I have done nothing to her to deserve that, as I said before we don’t even know each other.
So I have thought several times about what I wanted to say and what to do. My conclusion….. I won’t make my blog private. I won’t live in fear of people, her or anyone else unless I feel myself or my children’s safety is at risk. That is not the case here. She now has my pity, for something must very wrong for someone to do such a thing. I hope she seeks help and I hope she finds peace. But she won’t win. She won’t change me or my little blog that barely anyone reads. I like being an open book so to speak. I like to share my amazing family with the world. And my little girl…. Well, she started changing the world on her way out of the womb. We call her the paparazzi baby since so many pictures were taken while I was pushing and in the minutes after. I wanted it that way. I asked for it. I had a friend come specifically for that reason. It was my one regret with Porter. Not having enough pictures.
But with Scarlett…..we stumbled into pictures you never, ever see or at least hardly ever. I willingly gave them to my midwife (in fact, her student is the one that took them) because they were so important. I asked to remain anonymous and agreed to let her write about them. She was giddy over it and wrote it hours after Scarlett was born. They were too good not to share. We got pictures of what happens to the cord when you practice delayed cord clamping (which I do) so that there is a real picture to put to all the information out there. I never thought anything of it, but the post that my midwife wrote about it, got rave reviews and tons of comments. People asked to use them for instructional purposes. To explain the benefits, to show something real. I had no idea, but I was honored and proud that my birth yielded such good things. That Scarlett may somehow inspire another family to make a different choice. It didn't stop there. We also got amazing pictures of her in the caul. I chose a birth position that enabled completely amazing pictures of her being born with my bag of waters still intact. Trust me, this was all by chance. I was in no way shape or form in that position for the pictures, it was for the back comfort. It was just how the chips fell and how lucky were we?!
My midwife kindly edited the pictures so you don’t really see anything but the baby, you can’t see my face, nobody would know who I am at all. And in the birth community…… it spread like wildfire, in a good way. To this day, I think her caul babies post is one of her most viewed posts ever and again, something that will go on to educate and inspire mama’s to trust their bodies. People didn't know it was me in the pictures but I read all the comments thanking "the mama" for allowing the pictures to be published. They called her inspiring. My lil girl did all that within her first 30 minutes on this Earth. Booya.(if you want the link, let me know)
P.S. my midwife is probably shocked I outed myself.... I swore I never would. Hiiiii Stephanie.... *waves* Love you!!! But, in the wake of all this, it is her that has taught me the benefits of being vulnerable and open. She is herself. It isn't always easy or fun. She said it better than I ever could here
So, what is my point? I guess it is that while I was upset that what I wrote got taken from me and twisted, it doesn’t encapsulate what actually happened the day Scarlett was born. The person who did this was not there and really doesn’t know anything but her opinion. She is right, I put it out there, I opened myself up and I intend to stay that way. She has no idea the awesomeness that was Scarlett’s birth, the educational tools that came out of it, the pride that I felt. I ROCKED the face off my birth and nobody, especially someone that wasn’t in the room is going to take that away. I know better and everyone around me knows better too. Someone I don’t know will not dictate what I share or don’t. That is up to me and my husband. We are so proud of both of our births and both our babies. We are so proud to be a part of our birth community. We are proud to have our midwife et. al in our lives as a friend and treasured care provider. So one person doesn’t agree. Big woop. So while I was deeply offended and saddened by what happened, it will not define my little blog or any of my posts. So keep stopping by here if you wanna see a glimpse into our life and our kids, cause we aren’t going anywhere.
Moving on now…………
Thursday, January 19, 2012
The End is Nigh
Remember me?? I am sure if you are reading this (all 13 followers LOL) I most likely talk to you in everyday life, so you know that I have just been crazy as of late and neglected my poor, sad, little family blog. I don’t even know where to start on catching up. It is 2012 now and I have made my Resolutions, started a “lifestyle change” (it is not a diet ) celebrated my baby girls ¼ year birthday and preparing for Porter to turn 2 (where the heck did that time go?) and returned back to work. Sigh. It has been hectic.
So, I decided, I will try and catch up my blog on our Resolutions and new pics and such but the place I really want to start is a place very near and dear to my heart (and my wallet). It is a new beginning of an entire different reality in Neil and I’s life, our marriage and our family in 2012. It has been 16 months in the making. I call it, Operation Smith family finance/budgeting. …… Here it is, within the next 30 days, we are going to be consumer debt free!! Can you hear me squealing through your computer…. Cause I am. 16 loooong, hard, hard months are finally paying off. The sacrifice was big but the reward is SO worth it.
Neil gave me permission to share our final pay off number, in hopes that it will inspire or encourage other families to stick with a commitment for a debt free life. What a guy huh?! He pulled his credit report this morning (which has gone up 50 pts or so) so we got the real digits as in how much debt we have paid down, as well as a current credit score. We have our tax return coming that will pay off the final bit. As I said before, we started 16 months ago and within 30 days from now, we will have paid off a whopping … drum roll please……$60,000 in consumer debt. Ugh. That hurts to see in black and white.
We started off what I thought to be a pretty typical American family. We had 2 car loans, we were paying off our wedding, we bought an appliance package, invested in a second home, etc. etc. We have never been the type of people to spend frivolously on credit cards. We always pay our bills, lived pretty comfortably. It was kind of a shock when we did the finally tally. How the heck did THAT happen?! How did we spend that much money and not put the big picture together?! Maybe because cars didn’t equal card card debt in our minds but it is still a monthly payment. Or maybe because we got 0% interest on lots of it, we never thought to question. I am not sure. All I know is….. we had a lot of leakage and something had to change STAT. With children in the mix it became pressing, we decided together on a debt free life (besides mortgages and student loans, that’s next!).
So, the lil accountant that I am, sought a system that would work for us and not allow us to “cheat” easily. I knew we would if we could. My friend Sarah introduced me to Dave Ramsey. I checked him out and for the most part I really liked his viewpoints and ideas. Some, I strongly disagree with but for the family finance stuff, it looked pretty good. I didn’t want to use his generic worksheets so I wrote one specifically for our family. I used his concept of a “0 balance budget” meaning at the end of every paycheck the final number is 0. Every dollar has a place. I created an Excel spreadsheet, wrote down every bill, looked at what we could afford each month as an “extra payment” and did the simple math. Whatever we had leftover each paycheck; we took out in cold, hard cash money, honey. This was what we lived on. That money had to cover food, eating out, entertainment, clothes, haircuts, house stuff, Costco trips and the whole she bang. When it was gone, it was gone. Some pay cycles, not gonna lie, were really, really, really hard. Also, at the bottom of the spreadsheet, I tracked the balance of every credit card or loan and subtracted all the payments. This allowed us to see our monthly progress and always have a snapshot of what our total debt number was.
Sounds easy enough and on paper, it is. It is MUCH harder to put into action. But a modified cash system worked really well for us. We had to physically see the money leaving our hands. We thought twice about Starbucks, hated breaking $100 bills and sometimes would see how little we could get by on to roll over money for a present, a nice dinner out or a splurge. I sold things on Craigslist to fund things I wanted for the kids, we had a garage sale and we saved our change. It was sometimes tedious and frustrating. Did we slip up sometimes? Sure did. We are human. But not too often or so much we haven’t recovered. We took one vacation to San Diego and saved up to pay cash for that and we were so frugal while we were there, we came home with $200! Perhaps the biggest sacrifice was me continuing to work. It was really heartbreaking to put Porter in daycare. I had massive amounts of mommy guilt over it. But, when we started, we couldn’t make it work safely without my income. This was probably the biggest motivator to pay the MOST we could on each card every month. We had one (and along the way one became 2) HUGE reasons to stick with it. It was a 16 month sacrifice for my kids too. We spend pretty much every waking moment we are not working as a family, so in the end, it has worked out but it has been heartbreaking at times.
I really thought we would never get here. Stuff kept coming up. We had Scarlett, medical bills, car repairs, our water heater exploded and on and on and on. This was not without setback. Two steps forward and an inevitable step back. I couldn’t imagine the spot that we are at right now. I cannot tell you how freeing it feels. I am so grateful I could just burst. I am so thankful for our good jobs, good luck and willingness to both be on the same financial page and work like hell together. Debt free life is a reality that I have yet to live in, but I can’t wait. Before it has even begun, I think we both would tell you it is 100,000% worth it.
We are pretty committed to it now. We aren’t 100% out of the woods. We still have a mortgage and some student loans. We are so into it now, we want those gone too. Can you imagine living with NO mortgage?!?! When I started this, I could never conceive of such a thing. Now, I have seen what we did in 16 months and even if it takes 10-15 years, we will get there. Neil and I both crave the freedom of owning nothing to nobody. What different choices we would make if we could support our family on $1,000 a month?! Money compounds fast with no bills! I am hoping someday, that will be our reality.
Where do we go from here? Our debt goals now become savings goals. Save, save, save is the name of the game now. The economy scares me. I want an emergency fund saved. While we have paid of a lot, we have saved nothing. But first, we are rewarding ourselves (cash only though, tee he). We have decided to finally take a honeymoon and we are thinking of going to Spain. We have saved some cash back rewards on the credit card Neil uses for business travel and he won fantasy football last year and we saved that too, specifically for this very thing. We are going to use points, miles and discounts to do it, but it is our final reward and a send off into a new chapter in our life. It has been a dream of mine since I was little to travel to Europe and it is finally coming true! Neil and I are already brainstorming ideas and ways to be “cash only” in Europe too. I guess we are just used to it now. It is finally all compounding together and the results are becoming real.
So, this is where I end/begin this lengthy post! It is most certainly our biggest achievement other than getting married and having kids and a helluva way to start off 2012. This will be an amazing year. I cannot wait to give back some of our good fortune and I feel more blessed than I ever have in my life. Dave says “live like no one else so that you can live like no one else” and we are certainly gonna give it our best shot.
So, I decided, I will try and catch up my blog on our Resolutions and new pics and such but the place I really want to start is a place very near and dear to my heart (and my wallet). It is a new beginning of an entire different reality in Neil and I’s life, our marriage and our family in 2012. It has been 16 months in the making. I call it, Operation Smith family finance/budgeting. …… Here it is, within the next 30 days, we are going to be consumer debt free!! Can you hear me squealing through your computer…. Cause I am. 16 loooong, hard, hard months are finally paying off. The sacrifice was big but the reward is SO worth it.
Neil gave me permission to share our final pay off number, in hopes that it will inspire or encourage other families to stick with a commitment for a debt free life. What a guy huh?! He pulled his credit report this morning (which has gone up 50 pts or so) so we got the real digits as in how much debt we have paid down, as well as a current credit score. We have our tax return coming that will pay off the final bit. As I said before, we started 16 months ago and within 30 days from now, we will have paid off a whopping … drum roll please……$60,000 in consumer debt. Ugh. That hurts to see in black and white.
We started off what I thought to be a pretty typical American family. We had 2 car loans, we were paying off our wedding, we bought an appliance package, invested in a second home, etc. etc. We have never been the type of people to spend frivolously on credit cards. We always pay our bills, lived pretty comfortably. It was kind of a shock when we did the finally tally. How the heck did THAT happen?! How did we spend that much money and not put the big picture together?! Maybe because cars didn’t equal card card debt in our minds but it is still a monthly payment. Or maybe because we got 0% interest on lots of it, we never thought to question. I am not sure. All I know is….. we had a lot of leakage and something had to change STAT. With children in the mix it became pressing, we decided together on a debt free life (besides mortgages and student loans, that’s next!).
So, the lil accountant that I am, sought a system that would work for us and not allow us to “cheat” easily. I knew we would if we could. My friend Sarah introduced me to Dave Ramsey. I checked him out and for the most part I really liked his viewpoints and ideas. Some, I strongly disagree with but for the family finance stuff, it looked pretty good. I didn’t want to use his generic worksheets so I wrote one specifically for our family. I used his concept of a “0 balance budget” meaning at the end of every paycheck the final number is 0. Every dollar has a place. I created an Excel spreadsheet, wrote down every bill, looked at what we could afford each month as an “extra payment” and did the simple math. Whatever we had leftover each paycheck; we took out in cold, hard cash money, honey. This was what we lived on. That money had to cover food, eating out, entertainment, clothes, haircuts, house stuff, Costco trips and the whole she bang. When it was gone, it was gone. Some pay cycles, not gonna lie, were really, really, really hard. Also, at the bottom of the spreadsheet, I tracked the balance of every credit card or loan and subtracted all the payments. This allowed us to see our monthly progress and always have a snapshot of what our total debt number was.
Sounds easy enough and on paper, it is. It is MUCH harder to put into action. But a modified cash system worked really well for us. We had to physically see the money leaving our hands. We thought twice about Starbucks, hated breaking $100 bills and sometimes would see how little we could get by on to roll over money for a present, a nice dinner out or a splurge. I sold things on Craigslist to fund things I wanted for the kids, we had a garage sale and we saved our change. It was sometimes tedious and frustrating. Did we slip up sometimes? Sure did. We are human. But not too often or so much we haven’t recovered. We took one vacation to San Diego and saved up to pay cash for that and we were so frugal while we were there, we came home with $200! Perhaps the biggest sacrifice was me continuing to work. It was really heartbreaking to put Porter in daycare. I had massive amounts of mommy guilt over it. But, when we started, we couldn’t make it work safely without my income. This was probably the biggest motivator to pay the MOST we could on each card every month. We had one (and along the way one became 2) HUGE reasons to stick with it. It was a 16 month sacrifice for my kids too. We spend pretty much every waking moment we are not working as a family, so in the end, it has worked out but it has been heartbreaking at times.
I really thought we would never get here. Stuff kept coming up. We had Scarlett, medical bills, car repairs, our water heater exploded and on and on and on. This was not without setback. Two steps forward and an inevitable step back. I couldn’t imagine the spot that we are at right now. I cannot tell you how freeing it feels. I am so grateful I could just burst. I am so thankful for our good jobs, good luck and willingness to both be on the same financial page and work like hell together. Debt free life is a reality that I have yet to live in, but I can’t wait. Before it has even begun, I think we both would tell you it is 100,000% worth it.
We are pretty committed to it now. We aren’t 100% out of the woods. We still have a mortgage and some student loans. We are so into it now, we want those gone too. Can you imagine living with NO mortgage?!?! When I started this, I could never conceive of such a thing. Now, I have seen what we did in 16 months and even if it takes 10-15 years, we will get there. Neil and I both crave the freedom of owning nothing to nobody. What different choices we would make if we could support our family on $1,000 a month?! Money compounds fast with no bills! I am hoping someday, that will be our reality.
Where do we go from here? Our debt goals now become savings goals. Save, save, save is the name of the game now. The economy scares me. I want an emergency fund saved. While we have paid of a lot, we have saved nothing. But first, we are rewarding ourselves (cash only though, tee he). We have decided to finally take a honeymoon and we are thinking of going to Spain. We have saved some cash back rewards on the credit card Neil uses for business travel and he won fantasy football last year and we saved that too, specifically for this very thing. We are going to use points, miles and discounts to do it, but it is our final reward and a send off into a new chapter in our life. It has been a dream of mine since I was little to travel to Europe and it is finally coming true! Neil and I are already brainstorming ideas and ways to be “cash only” in Europe too. I guess we are just used to it now. It is finally all compounding together and the results are becoming real.
So, this is where I end/begin this lengthy post! It is most certainly our biggest achievement other than getting married and having kids and a helluva way to start off 2012. This will be an amazing year. I cannot wait to give back some of our good fortune and I feel more blessed than I ever have in my life. Dave says “live like no one else so that you can live like no one else” and we are certainly gonna give it our best shot.
Tuesday, November 8, 2011
Gallery Walls
I have grand ambitions for a lot of things around our house. I am getting the itch to paint and do more decorating than I have. And a new color scheme.... I have something in mind for every room. Sigh. Hopefully I will get there bit by bit in 2012. I am all about the DIY. Just gotta rope the hubby in for some projects (he is running away as he reads this I am sure).
First, I really want to do a gallery wall. I wanna do one up our staircase and above our couch. They are all the rage now and so neat. I have all the frames, I just need to do it.... but I have no Earthly clue where to begin! They are harder than you would think to line up and get together. It gives me anxiety so I stop before I start but I just LOVE them. And how do I get the right mix of frames and styles and make it look effortless?
I may paint some frames and I want to wait for our new pictures but this is a task I hope to accomplish. Has anyone ever done something like this?? Tips, trick or opinions? I am afraid my spacing will be off and I am OCD about that stuff and I will have to start all over. But, I cannot wait to display our new family pictures and I want to finally put some of our wedding pictures up. I think I will have to just bite the bullet and try it.
First, I really want to do a gallery wall. I wanna do one up our staircase and above our couch. They are all the rage now and so neat. I have all the frames, I just need to do it.... but I have no Earthly clue where to begin! They are harder than you would think to line up and get together. It gives me anxiety so I stop before I start but I just LOVE them. And how do I get the right mix of frames and styles and make it look effortless?
I may paint some frames and I want to wait for our new pictures but this is a task I hope to accomplish. Has anyone ever done something like this?? Tips, trick or opinions? I am afraid my spacing will be off and I am OCD about that stuff and I will have to start all over. But, I cannot wait to display our new family pictures and I want to finally put some of our wedding pictures up. I think I will have to just bite the bullet and try it.
The Second Time Around
I get asked a lot (by people with pained looks on their faces) about how I am doing with two kids so close in age. It is only natural I suppose. My kids are 20 months apart. I got lots of warnings before I had Scarlett about the exhaution, the inability to get anything done and the overwhelmingness and frustration I would feel now that my life was so "busy".
Sure, some days I experience those feelings. I have had some long nights and frustrations with my obstinate toddler. But really.... not half as bad as I thought or was made to think. Now, I know that I am a whopping 3.5 weeks into the business but so far so good. I really enjoy being a mom. I love, love, love being home with my kids. Do I get annoyed... sure. But I remind myself I used to sit in a quiet cube all day and play accountant.
Now, I get up every day and think about what fun things I can do with Porter. There are morning snuggles, giggle fits and the inevitable tantrums. There are walks in the gorgeous weather, park trips and sunshine. Truth be told.... it is bliss (most days). And the little one... she comes along for the ride. I realize now how easy newborns are and how easy I had it with one. But we do stuff and go places. The second child doesn't have the luxury of sitting around the house for 6 weeks. Nope, we get up and go every day.
There are a couple things I think helped me. One, natural childbirth post partums are UH-mazing. Thanks to no drugs and my short labor, I felt great pretty much right away. I was completely physically healed in about 8 days (those that have had a baby can read between the lines on that one). So that helped a lot. Two, BABYWEARING. I kinda, sorta got into it with Porter but with Scarlett, it is a lifesaver. I am not sure how parents have multiple kids and not wear them! I wrap her daily. She loves it and I have two hands. Three, I nurse. This (and running after Porter) has allowed me to lose all my pregnancy weight in two weeks and best of all, you can nurse anywhere! It is easy, always with me and fast. I struggled with nursing with Porter and after the first week, nursing has been great with the lil bug.
I am for sure not trying to brag or paint a picture of perfection. Trust me, you won't find any of that around here. More like a picture of reality. I am sitting in a room scattered with toys and there are two piles of laundry that need to be put away. My house isn't HGTV ready and I have not a lick of makeup on but mostly, I am in heaven. I decided it is all about perspective. If I concentrated on different things (like the toddler that has said "mama" 10 times in the past 5 seconds but doesn't need anything) then I would get more swallowed up. But for now, I concentrate on the kids, doing at least something around the house every day, getting a shower in and cooking yummy meals. And I can handle that much.... for now.
Sure, some days I experience those feelings. I have had some long nights and frustrations with my obstinate toddler. But really.... not half as bad as I thought or was made to think. Now, I know that I am a whopping 3.5 weeks into the business but so far so good. I really enjoy being a mom. I love, love, love being home with my kids. Do I get annoyed... sure. But I remind myself I used to sit in a quiet cube all day and play accountant.
Now, I get up every day and think about what fun things I can do with Porter. There are morning snuggles, giggle fits and the inevitable tantrums. There are walks in the gorgeous weather, park trips and sunshine. Truth be told.... it is bliss (most days). And the little one... she comes along for the ride. I realize now how easy newborns are and how easy I had it with one. But we do stuff and go places. The second child doesn't have the luxury of sitting around the house for 6 weeks. Nope, we get up and go every day.
There are a couple things I think helped me. One, natural childbirth post partums are UH-mazing. Thanks to no drugs and my short labor, I felt great pretty much right away. I was completely physically healed in about 8 days (those that have had a baby can read between the lines on that one). So that helped a lot. Two, BABYWEARING. I kinda, sorta got into it with Porter but with Scarlett, it is a lifesaver. I am not sure how parents have multiple kids and not wear them! I wrap her daily. She loves it and I have two hands. Three, I nurse. This (and running after Porter) has allowed me to lose all my pregnancy weight in two weeks and best of all, you can nurse anywhere! It is easy, always with me and fast. I struggled with nursing with Porter and after the first week, nursing has been great with the lil bug.
I am for sure not trying to brag or paint a picture of perfection. Trust me, you won't find any of that around here. More like a picture of reality. I am sitting in a room scattered with toys and there are two piles of laundry that need to be put away. My house isn't HGTV ready and I have not a lick of makeup on but mostly, I am in heaven. I decided it is all about perspective. If I concentrated on different things (like the toddler that has said "mama" 10 times in the past 5 seconds but doesn't need anything) then I would get more swallowed up. But for now, I concentrate on the kids, doing at least something around the house every day, getting a shower in and cooking yummy meals. And I can handle that much.... for now.
Monday, November 7, 2011
Welcome Earthside Scarlett Sinclaire
Sitting down to write Scarlett's birth story, I have a hard time deciding where to start. There is so much to say about the journey. So much I want to say about the experience. I learned a lot about myself in the birth of my daughter. I got much more than I ever thought I would.
I was about 9 days past my EDD. Pfffft. Due dates are stupid anyway. We believe babies come when they are ready to. But, I will say heading past 41 weeks with a really busy toddler at home and a back that was pretty much in constant pain, I was R-E-A-D-Y. As soon as we passed 41 weeks I gave up and just decided I would be pregnant forever and my anxiety calmed and I surrendered that part to my body and she would come in her own time.
Thursday night came and I found myself wide awake in bed at 10 pm. Nothing was happening, I just simply couldn’t sleep. I went down and watched TV till midnight and finally fell asleep. At about 4:45 AM I woke up. Not “contracting”, more crampy grumblings, barely noticeable. I went downstairs so I didn’t wake anyone and watched more TV. By the time Neil and Porter got up at 6:30-7:00 I had had 6 or so “grumblings” (like my technical term?), but still wasn’t comfortable calling it labor. I texted my doula, Rose to let her know, my mom and just kinda waited. My mom called my sister who headed up from Tucson. She was planning on coming home that weekend anyways, she just left right then*in case* which I told her she was silly to do, as I was not even “in labor”.
As the morning progressed, I became confident that they were contractions, though they were totally manageable and didn’t keep me from doing anything. At that point I had maybe 4-5 an hour but they were maybe 20 seconds. My sister neared our home and suggested she come get Porter so that I could rest and focus. She stopped to get me a Starbucks (gotta love it!) and picked up Porter about 9:30 AM. In my mind, I was thinking I would see him after his nap at 3:00 still pregnant but figured he would enjoy spending time with my mom and her.
At this point, I let my midwife know, more as a friend then anything. I really wasn’t convinced I would have her anytime soon and didn’t want to get any hopes up. I just wanted her to know. I told Neil I was going to take a shower and relax. I stepped in the shower, let the warm water hit me and out of nowhere I broke down with overwhelming sobs. I wasn’t sad. I was full. I couldn’t believe how much I loved my son and how I couldn’t imagine my life without his sweet face. And now, I got to do it again. I couldn’t imagine a life with that times TWO. It was a very humbling realization. How lucky we have been. We were at the end of 2 very healthy, low risk amazing pregnancies and our family was about to be blessed once again and I knew that our family would never be the same.
I climbed in my bed to relax, watch DVR’ed TV shows and I distracted myself getting ready. Neil came upstairs to lay with me. Around 10:30 there was a marked change in my contractions. No doubting what they were. I looked at Neil and told him we should time them during our show just to check. I was just not convinced that my labor would go any kind of fast after my 16 hr first baby. So, I started timing at 10:30. They were 10 min apart for 3 of them. Then 6 minutes apart by 11:00 AM, sometimes only 4 min. They were short, 20-30 seconds, but they were real! I let my birth team know that there was a change and maybe they should be on their way soon. I was breathing and moving through them perfectly. They were very manageable so I didn’t want to rush them. Both my midwife and doula (bless their hearts) said they would “mosey” over “and set up the birth tub, in case”. That is birth speak for they are right down the street and are reading through the lines and it was the right time to come.
By noon, I was on my labor ball leaning over my bed. They were fairly intense. The only thing that made it feel better was Neil’s hands putting very, very firm pressure and squeezing on my lower back. Our doula showed up, sat with me for a bit and started setting up the birth tub. Stephanie, our midwife, appeared just after. I tried to put on my Hypnobabies but it was not working for me. I was in too active of labor to try and relax. Instead, Neil put on my favorite, Van Morrison Pandora channel on and I went back to my birth ball. Breathing very smoothly and peacefully though my contractions. I used every bit of my Hypnobabies at that point, I retreated into my head and breathed through the intense contractions. I have no idea on time at this point.
As the birth tub was being set up, I couldn’t wait to get in it. Once I did, it felt SO good. I needed and I mean NEEDED Neil for every single contraction. The harder he pressed on my lower back the better it felt. I clung with both hands to my doula and had Neil in the back for every single wave. They were coming fast and intense. I felt her move down. Up until that point, I had vocalized and handled everything extraordinarily well. Even I was impressed how I was able to stay present in the moment.
Then, I got scared. Everything happened so fast I couldn’t wrap my mind around it. My midwife warned me about this and even said if I found myself in that position to try and surrender to it. Well….. I couldn’t. I wasn’t ready. It hurt. I couldn’t believe I was feeling pushy already. So, I quit. Yep. I quit my birth. I started fighting my body. And it fought back. I begged for pain meds and the hospital cause I “couldn’t do it” (truth be known, I probably could have pushed her out then THAT’S how close I was). I got into the shower then with Neil to help relieve the pain. Finally, my doula and midwife got real with me. Which is just what I needed. They said I could fight and make it miserable or work with it and I decided to get back in the labor tub and have my baby.
But, on the way back to the tub, I had a major contraction and spotted our guest room bed and bee lined for it. It felt SO good to lie down on my back. This is pretty anti homebirth. Birthing on your back makes no sense. It fights gravity and most women don’t find it the best position to birth in. For me, it wasn’t the position, it was the Temperpedic mattress. My back labor was so bad it felt good to have the mattress mold to my back. I was asked 1000 times if I wanted to switch positions or go to the tub and I said I couldn’t make it and wasn’t going anywhere. Stephanie (my midwife) checked me and the baby’s head was right there. I just needed to push. At this point my water had not broke. With Porter, my water broke just before pushing so I wasn’t surprised.
I did what I thought was pushing but with no progress. Stephanie then started guiding me and helping me listen to my body to push her out. She gently talked me through pushing so that I wouldn’t tear and it went beautifully. It was not until those minutes I was ready to give birth. About 20 minutes of pushing and Scarlett was born. She was born at 3:42 completely in the caul with her little hand up by her cheek. The term in the caul means she was born in the amniotic sac and my water never broke. There are lots of (good) superstitions about caul babies. That they have a second sight, that they are very lucky or if they are sailors they will never drown at sea. It is a very unique thing. Because of my positioning, we got amazing pictures.
She was passed to me and Neil was supporting/holding my upper body. She didn’t cry, she was beautiful and perfect. Everyone in the room lost it. Tears of joy abounded as our little girl joined us in complete peace, Earthside. And just like that, the pain was gone and the pride swelled up. I was so proud. Proud of my baby, proud of my husband who supported me 100% through the whole thing and I was proud of myself. I have never been more proud than I am in my birthing times. I did it. Two perfect homebirths just as they needed to be. The same amazing birth teams that are now best friends. My sister held my hand for both my babies, a good friend was there taking pictures, Stephanie’s amazing apprentice (and friend) and Rose, our doula, without whom I don’t think I could have a baby. It was perfect.
Scarlett Sinclaire weighed in at 7 lb 12 oz and 20 inches long. She had/has a full head of dark hair and the bluest eyes. She looked like a mini, girl version of Porter. She nursed like a champ, she got her “Stephanie hat” specially made for her and got sung happy birthday by her midwife. All this about 5 hrs after I started timing contractions! Amazing and a definite unexpected bonus.
Looking back at her birth, sometimes I am sad/disappointed I didn’t “do better” or that I got scared and fought it for so long. I really know better. But, I think about birth like a skyscraper building. The bottom being the start of labor and the penthouse being the finish line. And, for me, there are 3 people involved. Me, the baby and God/Universe. And for birth to happen, we all 3 have to be on the same level in the penthouse to get it done. For Scarlett’s birth, God and the baby were a couple floors ahead of me. And I got there, in my own time, the way I needed to get there. Everything was made beautiful in it’s own time.
I was about 9 days past my EDD. Pfffft. Due dates are stupid anyway. We believe babies come when they are ready to. But, I will say heading past 41 weeks with a really busy toddler at home and a back that was pretty much in constant pain, I was R-E-A-D-Y. As soon as we passed 41 weeks I gave up and just decided I would be pregnant forever and my anxiety calmed and I surrendered that part to my body and she would come in her own time.
Thursday night came and I found myself wide awake in bed at 10 pm. Nothing was happening, I just simply couldn’t sleep. I went down and watched TV till midnight and finally fell asleep. At about 4:45 AM I woke up. Not “contracting”, more crampy grumblings, barely noticeable. I went downstairs so I didn’t wake anyone and watched more TV. By the time Neil and Porter got up at 6:30-7:00 I had had 6 or so “grumblings” (like my technical term?), but still wasn’t comfortable calling it labor. I texted my doula, Rose to let her know, my mom and just kinda waited. My mom called my sister who headed up from Tucson. She was planning on coming home that weekend anyways, she just left right then*in case* which I told her she was silly to do, as I was not even “in labor”.
As the morning progressed, I became confident that they were contractions, though they were totally manageable and didn’t keep me from doing anything. At that point I had maybe 4-5 an hour but they were maybe 20 seconds. My sister neared our home and suggested she come get Porter so that I could rest and focus. She stopped to get me a Starbucks (gotta love it!) and picked up Porter about 9:30 AM. In my mind, I was thinking I would see him after his nap at 3:00 still pregnant but figured he would enjoy spending time with my mom and her.
At this point, I let my midwife know, more as a friend then anything. I really wasn’t convinced I would have her anytime soon and didn’t want to get any hopes up. I just wanted her to know. I told Neil I was going to take a shower and relax. I stepped in the shower, let the warm water hit me and out of nowhere I broke down with overwhelming sobs. I wasn’t sad. I was full. I couldn’t believe how much I loved my son and how I couldn’t imagine my life without his sweet face. And now, I got to do it again. I couldn’t imagine a life with that times TWO. It was a very humbling realization. How lucky we have been. We were at the end of 2 very healthy, low risk amazing pregnancies and our family was about to be blessed once again and I knew that our family would never be the same.
I climbed in my bed to relax, watch DVR’ed TV shows and I distracted myself getting ready. Neil came upstairs to lay with me. Around 10:30 there was a marked change in my contractions. No doubting what they were. I looked at Neil and told him we should time them during our show just to check. I was just not convinced that my labor would go any kind of fast after my 16 hr first baby. So, I started timing at 10:30. They were 10 min apart for 3 of them. Then 6 minutes apart by 11:00 AM, sometimes only 4 min. They were short, 20-30 seconds, but they were real! I let my birth team know that there was a change and maybe they should be on their way soon. I was breathing and moving through them perfectly. They were very manageable so I didn’t want to rush them. Both my midwife and doula (bless their hearts) said they would “mosey” over “and set up the birth tub, in case”. That is birth speak for they are right down the street and are reading through the lines and it was the right time to come.
By noon, I was on my labor ball leaning over my bed. They were fairly intense. The only thing that made it feel better was Neil’s hands putting very, very firm pressure and squeezing on my lower back. Our doula showed up, sat with me for a bit and started setting up the birth tub. Stephanie, our midwife, appeared just after. I tried to put on my Hypnobabies but it was not working for me. I was in too active of labor to try and relax. Instead, Neil put on my favorite, Van Morrison Pandora channel on and I went back to my birth ball. Breathing very smoothly and peacefully though my contractions. I used every bit of my Hypnobabies at that point, I retreated into my head and breathed through the intense contractions. I have no idea on time at this point.
As the birth tub was being set up, I couldn’t wait to get in it. Once I did, it felt SO good. I needed and I mean NEEDED Neil for every single contraction. The harder he pressed on my lower back the better it felt. I clung with both hands to my doula and had Neil in the back for every single wave. They were coming fast and intense. I felt her move down. Up until that point, I had vocalized and handled everything extraordinarily well. Even I was impressed how I was able to stay present in the moment.
Then, I got scared. Everything happened so fast I couldn’t wrap my mind around it. My midwife warned me about this and even said if I found myself in that position to try and surrender to it. Well….. I couldn’t. I wasn’t ready. It hurt. I couldn’t believe I was feeling pushy already. So, I quit. Yep. I quit my birth. I started fighting my body. And it fought back. I begged for pain meds and the hospital cause I “couldn’t do it” (truth be known, I probably could have pushed her out then THAT’S how close I was). I got into the shower then with Neil to help relieve the pain. Finally, my doula and midwife got real with me. Which is just what I needed. They said I could fight and make it miserable or work with it and I decided to get back in the labor tub and have my baby.
But, on the way back to the tub, I had a major contraction and spotted our guest room bed and bee lined for it. It felt SO good to lie down on my back. This is pretty anti homebirth. Birthing on your back makes no sense. It fights gravity and most women don’t find it the best position to birth in. For me, it wasn’t the position, it was the Temperpedic mattress. My back labor was so bad it felt good to have the mattress mold to my back. I was asked 1000 times if I wanted to switch positions or go to the tub and I said I couldn’t make it and wasn’t going anywhere. Stephanie (my midwife) checked me and the baby’s head was right there. I just needed to push. At this point my water had not broke. With Porter, my water broke just before pushing so I wasn’t surprised.
I did what I thought was pushing but with no progress. Stephanie then started guiding me and helping me listen to my body to push her out. She gently talked me through pushing so that I wouldn’t tear and it went beautifully. It was not until those minutes I was ready to give birth. About 20 minutes of pushing and Scarlett was born. She was born at 3:42 completely in the caul with her little hand up by her cheek. The term in the caul means she was born in the amniotic sac and my water never broke. There are lots of (good) superstitions about caul babies. That they have a second sight, that they are very lucky or if they are sailors they will never drown at sea. It is a very unique thing. Because of my positioning, we got amazing pictures.
She was passed to me and Neil was supporting/holding my upper body. She didn’t cry, she was beautiful and perfect. Everyone in the room lost it. Tears of joy abounded as our little girl joined us in complete peace, Earthside. And just like that, the pain was gone and the pride swelled up. I was so proud. Proud of my baby, proud of my husband who supported me 100% through the whole thing and I was proud of myself. I have never been more proud than I am in my birthing times. I did it. Two perfect homebirths just as they needed to be. The same amazing birth teams that are now best friends. My sister held my hand for both my babies, a good friend was there taking pictures, Stephanie’s amazing apprentice (and friend) and Rose, our doula, without whom I don’t think I could have a baby. It was perfect.
Scarlett Sinclaire weighed in at 7 lb 12 oz and 20 inches long. She had/has a full head of dark hair and the bluest eyes. She looked like a mini, girl version of Porter. She nursed like a champ, she got her “Stephanie hat” specially made for her and got sung happy birthday by her midwife. All this about 5 hrs after I started timing contractions! Amazing and a definite unexpected bonus.
Looking back at her birth, sometimes I am sad/disappointed I didn’t “do better” or that I got scared and fought it for so long. I really know better. But, I think about birth like a skyscraper building. The bottom being the start of labor and the penthouse being the finish line. And, for me, there are 3 people involved. Me, the baby and God/Universe. And for birth to happen, we all 3 have to be on the same level in the penthouse to get it done. For Scarlett’s birth, God and the baby were a couple floors ahead of me. And I got there, in my own time, the way I needed to get there. Everything was made beautiful in it’s own time.
Wednesday, September 28, 2011
Kids Room Update
I have been a furious nester this last couple months. In my defense, we moved into our house in a rush, unpacked in a rush and never really settled in. My home is important to me. I like everything just so and painted and decorated. Yeah, thats right, I hang stuff. But so far, there has been no time and even less funds for a home makeover.
But, I bargain shopped, planned and made the kids room come together! It was fairly inexpensive. Some paint, my Craigslist finds and some gifts from Grandma Helen and we came together nicely. I am IN LOVE with my childrens room. In love. It is my favorite spot in the house. The colors are perfect and cheery. I think it is perfect for them to share.
I am about 80% done. My hubby needs to put up some white chair rail and I need to get Scarlett's red bedding. I *think* I have my hubby convinced to paint the crib white too, since we have the paint and will only cost us man power. I can touch up the base boards and door trim too. I bought inexpensive, bright frames from Ikea and want to do a gallery wall and hang some Very Hungry Caterpillar prints that Grandma Helen just bought them. I think it came out just smashing. These are some progression pictures I took on my phone. I will snap some better ones when we are complete!
But, I bargain shopped, planned and made the kids room come together! It was fairly inexpensive. Some paint, my Craigslist finds and some gifts from Grandma Helen and we came together nicely. I am IN LOVE with my childrens room. In love. It is my favorite spot in the house. The colors are perfect and cheery. I think it is perfect for them to share.
I am about 80% done. My hubby needs to put up some white chair rail and I need to get Scarlett's red bedding. I *think* I have my hubby convinced to paint the crib white too, since we have the paint and will only cost us man power. I can touch up the base boards and door trim too. I bought inexpensive, bright frames from Ikea and want to do a gallery wall and hang some Very Hungry Caterpillar prints that Grandma Helen just bought them. I think it came out just smashing. These are some progression pictures I took on my phone. I will snap some better ones when we are complete!
The BEST Un-Baby Shower Ever
I have not written in this thing in SO long! I have to catch up my posts. Needless to say things have been ka-razy (when are they not?). But we are winding down and ready for baby Scarlett to arrive. As of today, we are one week away from my guess date. I cannot believe it! I am feeling caught up and ready now at least. Now, time to relax and calm down.
This entire pregnancy has been really, really busy and somewhat stressed. I have worked full time, we have been on our debt diet and we have a busy toddler to chase after. Makes for one crazed schedule. I am glad that we have hunkered down and made these short term sacrifices to enjoy more going forward.
But, sometimes I feel like Scarlett got the short end of the stick in my pregnancy with her. Poor second babies. I spent SO much time (and money) thinking, dreaming and fantasizing during Porter's pregnancy. I bought all the "stuff", to then learn I didn't need 80% of it. I had showers and gifts bought and TONS of generosity. Porter was a very typical first time baby. This baby, people would ask about a shower and I politely declined. I dunno why, I just thought with the second, you don't have showers. Plus, times are tough for most everyone I know. I don't "need" anything, we are blessed. I don't want anyone spending lots of resources when in the end, that is not what babies are all about.
In my mama circle we do what’s called a "Blessingway". It is basically a no-gift shower where people bring poems, stories, passages, candles are passed down, birth-y type stuff and general well wishes. Lovely, huh? Except if you are me. I get uncomfortable as the center of attention (yes, shockingly I do) and say all the wrong things when there is an outpouring of sentiment. I'm Chandler Bing. So, I kinda settled on not having anything and being low key and ok about it.
Buuuut, my awesome, wonderful group of mama's got together and planned an un-baby shower, un-Blessingway for me and baby Scarlett! My friend Laura generously used her house and my other bestie Andra helped plan it. It was a no gift, potluck ladies get together/celebration for Scarlett. The food was amazing. Seriously so so so good. A group of my closest friends and family were all there to chat, eat and hang out. It was PERFECT. Baby Scarlett got the honor she deserves without the silly games and lavish gifts. After all, these ladies, not any "stuff" got me through raising Porter thus far so it was very fitting. More suiting for me, anyways. We laughed and joked. You had to be present to get the um, dirty details, but suffice it to say, it was a blast. We are one fun group of mom's. I'm pretty sure I can say it was unlike any baby shower I have ever been to and I mean that in the best way possible. I am SO grateful and I will never forget how special I felt.
Second to the food and company, they all conspired DID get me a gift. Cheaters. They all threw in money to go towards the purchase of a woven wrap. For those of you that aren't baby wearers (do I know anyone that isn't?? well, anyway....) woven wraps are very beautiful, very awesome, very EXPENSIVE child carrying apparatus'. They are simply gorgeous but simply not in our budget. Women in cultures around the world have been "wearing" their babies for thousands of years. There are SO many benefits to it that I won't go into. But, there is no way we could part with the money to buy one so it has just been something to lust after. But, no more! It was the perfect gift. Something that everyone could contribute to and make a huge impact for me. I couldn't think of anything better, more desired, more heart felt.
I could finally afford my dream wrap. I had wanted an Ellevill Grasshopper woven wrap for SO long. It is 50/50 bamboo cotton blend and just divine. No other word fits it. Luxury to the max. It is woven in India and sent here. It is fabric art. I love it. I hemmed and hawed even after the generous gift about getting something more practical (or so I thought), since I am new to wrapping. If I let something so gorgeous sit in my closet, it would be a sin. But, I know some expert, master wrappers that have offered to come help me learn all the tricks. I'm stoked. It is the most natural and gorgeous way to carry your baby. Bonus.... babies love it too. It lets mama be hands free and baby skin to skin. Looking past her 70's look.... isn't it GORGEOUS?!
And it is mine! All mine. I just bit the bullet and ordered it. I cannot wait to put a new squishy baby in it. I have so much gratitude in my heart for the generosity of my friends. I cannot thank them enough. It is my most sentimental Scarlett gift, who has been the stereotypical "second kid/pregnancy", had a room full out "aunties" that managed to spoil and cherish her in every way that a baby deserves to be. The world is waiting with baited breath baby girl, for you to pick your birthday. There are great things in store for you, you are loved already more than you know.
This entire pregnancy has been really, really busy and somewhat stressed. I have worked full time, we have been on our debt diet and we have a busy toddler to chase after. Makes for one crazed schedule. I am glad that we have hunkered down and made these short term sacrifices to enjoy more going forward.
But, sometimes I feel like Scarlett got the short end of the stick in my pregnancy with her. Poor second babies. I spent SO much time (and money) thinking, dreaming and fantasizing during Porter's pregnancy. I bought all the "stuff", to then learn I didn't need 80% of it. I had showers and gifts bought and TONS of generosity. Porter was a very typical first time baby. This baby, people would ask about a shower and I politely declined. I dunno why, I just thought with the second, you don't have showers. Plus, times are tough for most everyone I know. I don't "need" anything, we are blessed. I don't want anyone spending lots of resources when in the end, that is not what babies are all about.
In my mama circle we do what’s called a "Blessingway". It is basically a no-gift shower where people bring poems, stories, passages, candles are passed down, birth-y type stuff and general well wishes. Lovely, huh? Except if you are me. I get uncomfortable as the center of attention (yes, shockingly I do) and say all the wrong things when there is an outpouring of sentiment. I'm Chandler Bing. So, I kinda settled on not having anything and being low key and ok about it.
Buuuut, my awesome, wonderful group of mama's got together and planned an un-baby shower, un-Blessingway for me and baby Scarlett! My friend Laura generously used her house and my other bestie Andra helped plan it. It was a no gift, potluck ladies get together/celebration for Scarlett. The food was amazing. Seriously so so so good. A group of my closest friends and family were all there to chat, eat and hang out. It was PERFECT. Baby Scarlett got the honor she deserves without the silly games and lavish gifts. After all, these ladies, not any "stuff" got me through raising Porter thus far so it was very fitting. More suiting for me, anyways. We laughed and joked. You had to be present to get the um, dirty details, but suffice it to say, it was a blast. We are one fun group of mom's. I'm pretty sure I can say it was unlike any baby shower I have ever been to and I mean that in the best way possible. I am SO grateful and I will never forget how special I felt.
Second to the food and company, they all conspired DID get me a gift. Cheaters. They all threw in money to go towards the purchase of a woven wrap. For those of you that aren't baby wearers (do I know anyone that isn't?? well, anyway....) woven wraps are very beautiful, very awesome, very EXPENSIVE child carrying apparatus'. They are simply gorgeous but simply not in our budget. Women in cultures around the world have been "wearing" their babies for thousands of years. There are SO many benefits to it that I won't go into. But, there is no way we could part with the money to buy one so it has just been something to lust after. But, no more! It was the perfect gift. Something that everyone could contribute to and make a huge impact for me. I couldn't think of anything better, more desired, more heart felt.
I could finally afford my dream wrap. I had wanted an Ellevill Grasshopper woven wrap for SO long. It is 50/50 bamboo cotton blend and just divine. No other word fits it. Luxury to the max. It is woven in India and sent here. It is fabric art. I love it. I hemmed and hawed even after the generous gift about getting something more practical (or so I thought), since I am new to wrapping. If I let something so gorgeous sit in my closet, it would be a sin. But, I know some expert, master wrappers that have offered to come help me learn all the tricks. I'm stoked. It is the most natural and gorgeous way to carry your baby. Bonus.... babies love it too. It lets mama be hands free and baby skin to skin. Looking past her 70's look.... isn't it GORGEOUS?!
And it is mine! All mine. I just bit the bullet and ordered it. I cannot wait to put a new squishy baby in it. I have so much gratitude in my heart for the generosity of my friends. I cannot thank them enough. It is my most sentimental Scarlett gift, who has been the stereotypical "second kid/pregnancy", had a room full out "aunties" that managed to spoil and cherish her in every way that a baby deserves to be. The world is waiting with baited breath baby girl, for you to pick your birthday. There are great things in store for you, you are loved already more than you know.
Sunday, August 21, 2011
Ch..Ch...Ch...Changes for the P-man
Lots of changes around here! We are closing in on 6 weeks till baby Scarlett, the long awaited end of summer and our little boy blossoming more and more every day.
Porter has grown up so much in the last 2 months. His speech exploded, his signs exploded, his comprehension exploded. He is a full blown toddler. And a really, really busy one. He has two speeds, go fast and sleeping.
He started to climb out of his pack and play at daycare and has now graduated to sleeping on a mat and pillow with the big kids. That is a big deal. No sides, no rails, no restraint. And he LOVES it. Sleeps 2-2.5 hrs like that every afternoon. We also made the transition to one nap per day,so he sleeps one chunk and is ready for bed by 7:15 and sleeps through till about 6:45-7:00 the next morning. Pretty sweet... enter newborn. Sigh. I am spoiled by P-man's awesome sleep schedule.
So we have decided he is probably ready for a big boy bed. He gravitates towards it. Neil and I decided long ago we wouldn't force such things on him but if he was interested, we would oblige.
Our next big decision, our kids will share a room. Yep, boy and girl, brother and sister. We figure while they are little,no bigs. Plenty of kids do it and we only have 3 bedrooms. I want to save my guest room/office/craft room since it actually gets used. When kids are little, I feel like they only sleep in their rooms. Unless we are all upstairs, Porter is never in his room so we will save the sq footage and they will bunk up! I think they will find it comforting in the end. By the time Porter is 4-5 we will look at moving him into his own room. Essentially, it still will be his own room for a good while since Scarlett will be in our room for 6 months or so.
So, I had to re-think my decorating scheme! Something cute and boy/girl friendly. So, I tossed tons of ideas around, scoured tons of blogs. Then, a good friend suggested I look at Pottery Barn Kids new Very Hungry Catepillar collection. It is bright, fun and has coordinating boy/girl stuff. And... I LOVE it! SO stinking cute. But SO stinking expensive. So, I will buy P the duvet cover, Scarlett a matching crib sheet and maybe a couple decorative pillows as we can afford them. Other than that, we are on a budget! In the end it will look really cute and pull together nicely it just won't be 100% of the collection.
Super cute huh?! I love bright color for kids. I am not into pastels or super baby-ish stuff. I think it will be really fun. And I love the story and coordination too. I think it will grow with the kids. So, I decided to paint the room 1/3 a leafy green and the top 1/3 a dusty sky blue and separate them with crisp white chair rail. I then had to choose a bed for Porter. We didn't want to spend a whole lot since it will just last a couple years. We also skipped the toddler bed (I think they are pointless) and went right to a twin. Ikea had a cheap $40.00 raw wood bed that is low to the ground and perfect. I thought $40.00 for the bed, $30.00 for the slats and $100 for the mattress. Not too bad I suppose. But, then I scored the exact bed, brand new for $15.00 on Craigslist INCLUDING the slats and 3 miles from our house. That saved over $60.00. Then I had a $20.00 return card, bringing the mattress down to $80.00. So under $100.00 for a brand new, big boy bed. Not too shabs.
So it started looking a little boring. A little sad. I couldn't leave it that color! For $15.00 I could afford to paint it something fun and bold. Especially with cute bedding! So, after thinking about it, I settled on bright red. It matches the bedding and then Scarlett's coordinating crib stuff will be red and white gingham! It will coordinate perfect and be so bright and happy. So, $23.00 worth of tinted primer (since we chose red, the paint guys said a tinted primer is a MUST) and lady bug red, high gloss paint we were good to go!
We decided to do 2 thin coats of tinted primer to make sure the wood would accept the red well.
We had a good system. Neil rolled and I did the minor touch ups in the crevices and cracks. We let it dry while we ate and got Porter ready for bed. Then came the red!
The color up close is awesome and exactly what I wanted. Whew. I took these pics before I touched it up to show the difference. There are no pink spots now I promise! We will let it dry overnight and I have brand new leaf green sheets to put on it. Next up, painting the room and getting the duvet. I am really impressed with how good it turned out. It is perfect for Porter. I can't wait to see it all come together!
Porter has grown up so much in the last 2 months. His speech exploded, his signs exploded, his comprehension exploded. He is a full blown toddler. And a really, really busy one. He has two speeds, go fast and sleeping.
He started to climb out of his pack and play at daycare and has now graduated to sleeping on a mat and pillow with the big kids. That is a big deal. No sides, no rails, no restraint. And he LOVES it. Sleeps 2-2.5 hrs like that every afternoon. We also made the transition to one nap per day,so he sleeps one chunk and is ready for bed by 7:15 and sleeps through till about 6:45-7:00 the next morning. Pretty sweet... enter newborn. Sigh. I am spoiled by P-man's awesome sleep schedule.
So we have decided he is probably ready for a big boy bed. He gravitates towards it. Neil and I decided long ago we wouldn't force such things on him but if he was interested, we would oblige.
Our next big decision, our kids will share a room. Yep, boy and girl, brother and sister. We figure while they are little,no bigs. Plenty of kids do it and we only have 3 bedrooms. I want to save my guest room/office/craft room since it actually gets used. When kids are little, I feel like they only sleep in their rooms. Unless we are all upstairs, Porter is never in his room so we will save the sq footage and they will bunk up! I think they will find it comforting in the end. By the time Porter is 4-5 we will look at moving him into his own room. Essentially, it still will be his own room for a good while since Scarlett will be in our room for 6 months or so.
So, I had to re-think my decorating scheme! Something cute and boy/girl friendly. So, I tossed tons of ideas around, scoured tons of blogs. Then, a good friend suggested I look at Pottery Barn Kids new Very Hungry Catepillar collection. It is bright, fun and has coordinating boy/girl stuff. And... I LOVE it! SO stinking cute. But SO stinking expensive. So, I will buy P the duvet cover, Scarlett a matching crib sheet and maybe a couple decorative pillows as we can afford them. Other than that, we are on a budget! In the end it will look really cute and pull together nicely it just won't be 100% of the collection.
Super cute huh?! I love bright color for kids. I am not into pastels or super baby-ish stuff. I think it will be really fun. And I love the story and coordination too. I think it will grow with the kids. So, I decided to paint the room 1/3 a leafy green and the top 1/3 a dusty sky blue and separate them with crisp white chair rail. I then had to choose a bed for Porter. We didn't want to spend a whole lot since it will just last a couple years. We also skipped the toddler bed (I think they are pointless) and went right to a twin. Ikea had a cheap $40.00 raw wood bed that is low to the ground and perfect. I thought $40.00 for the bed, $30.00 for the slats and $100 for the mattress. Not too bad I suppose. But, then I scored the exact bed, brand new for $15.00 on Craigslist INCLUDING the slats and 3 miles from our house. That saved over $60.00. Then I had a $20.00 return card, bringing the mattress down to $80.00. So under $100.00 for a brand new, big boy bed. Not too shabs.
So it started looking a little boring. A little sad. I couldn't leave it that color! For $15.00 I could afford to paint it something fun and bold. Especially with cute bedding! So, after thinking about it, I settled on bright red. It matches the bedding and then Scarlett's coordinating crib stuff will be red and white gingham! It will coordinate perfect and be so bright and happy. So, $23.00 worth of tinted primer (since we chose red, the paint guys said a tinted primer is a MUST) and lady bug red, high gloss paint we were good to go!
We decided to do 2 thin coats of tinted primer to make sure the wood would accept the red well.
We had a good system. Neil rolled and I did the minor touch ups in the crevices and cracks. We let it dry while we ate and got Porter ready for bed. Then came the red!
The color up close is awesome and exactly what I wanted. Whew. I took these pics before I touched it up to show the difference. There are no pink spots now I promise! We will let it dry overnight and I have brand new leaf green sheets to put on it. Next up, painting the room and getting the duvet. I am really impressed with how good it turned out. It is perfect for Porter. I can't wait to see it all come together!
Wednesday, August 10, 2011
Live Like No One Else
When you live a life as jam packed as we do, I always appreciate a good 'ol fashioned dose of, perspective shall we say. It is good for me to remember why Neil and I make the choices we do and the sacrifices we make because we know in the end, our family will be stronger for it.
Where did I get my dose of perspective today??? Um, a tree house.
Yes.... a tree house.
We loosely follow Dave Ramsey's cash/budget system (which I cannot WAIT for my blog post on that. I will do a final tally of how much we have been able to pay off using this method. Lets just say... it is A LOT). One of my favorite Dave Ramsey ism's is a reasoning for living such a strictly budgeted/monitored life style. And that reason is "Live like no one else, so that you can live like no one else". Hmmmm, thanks Dave. It is not so easy when I want a new sliding glass door or the $900 GORGEOUS Pottery Barn Crib. And those are the frivolous things. Last month it was the pool pump, new tire, an AC repair.... I could go on and on. We made it through though. It was REAL tight, but, alas, eventually we will have complete financial freedom someday. And when we do folks.... I am building a tree house.
Ok, maybe not if we stay in AZ. I am a Midwest girl. Michigan to be exact. There are actual trees there that have grown since the beginning of ever and not planted according to a landscaping design. Neil grew up with real trees in SC too. So, if we ever move to my dream city, Charleston, SC or thereabouts, I will have my sleepy, charming Southern house and out back I wanna have trees big enough to build my dream tree house.
My inspiration piece....
Where did I get my dose of perspective today??? Um, a tree house.
Yes.... a tree house.
We loosely follow Dave Ramsey's cash/budget system (which I cannot WAIT for my blog post on that. I will do a final tally of how much we have been able to pay off using this method. Lets just say... it is A LOT). One of my favorite Dave Ramsey ism's is a reasoning for living such a strictly budgeted/monitored life style. And that reason is "Live like no one else, so that you can live like no one else". Hmmmm, thanks Dave. It is not so easy when I want a new sliding glass door or the $900 GORGEOUS Pottery Barn Crib. And those are the frivolous things. Last month it was the pool pump, new tire, an AC repair.... I could go on and on. We made it through though. It was REAL tight, but, alas, eventually we will have complete financial freedom someday. And when we do folks.... I am building a tree house.
Ok, maybe not if we stay in AZ. I am a Midwest girl. Michigan to be exact. There are actual trees there that have grown since the beginning of ever and not planted according to a landscaping design. Neil grew up with real trees in SC too. So, if we ever move to my dream city, Charleston, SC or thereabouts, I will have my sleepy, charming Southern house and out back I wanna have trees big enough to build my dream tree house.
My inspiration piece....
Gorgeous huh? It was built as a tribute to a man that loved that particular tree and passed away. It is not just for kids, it is a outside gathering place for adults and families. In my tree house dream, this would be my office/guest cottage/summer time fun place. Eventually, both Neil and I want to be completely self employed and instead of a boring 'ol home office.... how bout this?? See, I have to remind myself, that the sacrifices we are making now will enable us to dream big in the future. Looks expensive huh? It wasn't. No plumbing (walk 500 ft to the house, that'll do just fine). It is all reclaimed wood, vintage windows and sweat equity. A lot was bartered. Big dreams don't always mean big price tags. This was built over the course of a year. Ours would have to be built the same way. Ours would need an extended deck so Neil could BBQ. I imagine we would have constant backyard parties, cookouts, and "camp" in it with our kids. If you need to find Neil, he most likely would be in the hammock with Bailey curled up beneath him. Neil and I would enjoy many o bottle of great red wine on the porch since we would rather be home watching our kids run around with friends and family than go out. I can have an office that affords me the ability to work and be home at the same time. My kids will no doubt tear through it in mere seconds. Bliss.
I would want it just as this one is. Minimalistic, country and simple. A gathering place for friends and family on our very own land. That would be a dream for me. I have to remind myself that it is OK to have not-so- normal goals. That is why Neil and I do what we do. So that we can think outside the box. And it may never happen, I realize that. But it doesn't cost anything to think about it or to push outside the realm of normal. Who says you can't have a tree house when you grow up? Live like no one else. It is possible, just not popular. But I have always been a bit off the beaten path. And I wanna teach my kids that they can be too. In our home, happiness is spelled f-a-m-i-l-y and our kids can one day roll their eyes at their parents that chose to go to work in a tree rather than an office and somehow made it work. We have a long, long, long way to go till this is our reality. It may never come. Perhaps one day it will.... I can only hope!
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